Ah crap - I blew it. (See post below.) I have a chance to redeem myself but have now lost the momentum and couldnt give a toss, this is helped by the three glasses of malibu I have just drunk. Everything happens for a reason........... everything happens for a reason ......... I am sure it does. But it may take me a while to understand what it is. I lack direction, one minute I crave intellectual stimulation, the next I just want to be a mother and a wife.

But everything happens for a reason and I will find out what it is eventually ..... eventually I will be seen as than more than a mother and a wife by my family, I dont say this to make them feel bad, only to let them know that I am here and I will not let life pass me by.

One day my name will enter conversations again and I will not just be confined to the school run as my only daily outting. One day I will make some money myself and will not therefore have to justify buying myself a new pair of shoes to anyone! One day my opinion will count again.

Everything happens for a reason....And I will find out what the reason is if I patiently wait.