So after many years of attempted gardening ... finally a breakthrough. I planted 6 packs of seeds back in May and this is the result.


Finally a flower 

Yes I know it doesnt look like much but to me its an awful lot. You see this is what usually happens to my flowers (please note I did exactly what the instructions said)


And this is what they usually look like!! 

Ok so I do not have greenfingers (does anyone know where I can get them?) Apart from this little flower the only plant I have managed to keep alive was a bunch of chives when I was about 11, which to my despair, when offering them for a salad my mum ripped from the ground and threw away saying that the cat had peed on them. :(

So rip bonsai tree, rose bush, cactus, apple tree and various other strangly named plants.

And long live the pretty pink flower (no I have no idea what its called)

One day of peace isnt alot to ask is it? The last two weeks have been so hectic its been hard work finding time to go to the loo! Cat shows, weddings, school plays, sports days, summer fayres, doctors, opticians and dentist appointments amoungst many other things meant I have been simply to lazy to blog.

I am convinced I am or about to go mad faced with the 6 week summer break that now looms over me. The house will not be clean all summer, I will not find the bottom of the laundry basket until September, everywhere I go will take three times as long, the fridge will be constantly empty, and I will forget what it feels like to be alone or have adult conversation.

That said and done I approach the holidays with the false hope I will be able to keep order and stick to a routine. Lots of stories, arts and crafts and cake cooking are just some of the things I have planned to keep them busy at home.

Its never a good sign when the kids ask you "Why do we have to have a summer break?" Both the children are very social and could think of nothing worse than spending so much time with me.

In other news I broke my little toe trying to get into Joannas room, Had to have new contact lenses because I am officially blind as a bat, finally got around to reading Da Vinci code and started the new Harry Potter book and dyed my hair pink!!! (just kidding about the last part!!)

Never promise something to a child that you never have any intention of going through with because they wont forget.....ever.

6 months ago I promised Joanna that because we couldnt visit the circus this time we would next time. So when she saw the circus roll into town last week she immediately threw the promise in my face. Now it may be that I dont like to spend the best past of 50 quid on two hours at the circus or it may just be that I hate clowns but there was no way I was gonna get out of it, so off we went to the circus.

We had front row seats which immediately made me feel nervous about being dragged onto stage to get made a spectacle of. SO the kids see these light toys that are being sold and want one, again never send your husband up with the kids to get these, they dont understand the theory behind captive audience and end up paying the total rip off price of £5 each for stupid toys that will be broken and usless by the time you go home.

All said we had a good time, apart from an annoying spoilt 2 year old sat next to us who kept demanding the kids candy floss.

Ethan enjoyed the spiderman show, Joanna loved watching all the pretty dancers, I enjoyed watching the smiles on my kids faces and hubby enjoyed the positions the gymnasts could stretch into - I personally wondered who they get to do their bikini lines ;) they were not leaving much to the imagination.

But you know what - clowns still scare me!! They are wrong and weird and will never make me laugh.

Sometimes its nice to get a break from the computer, But when hubby tells you ... no negotiation that you shouldnt be online in his presence - Well your gonna want to be on here more right???

Yes I agree that it cant be pleasant for him constantly staring at my back, but I cannot sit and watch the Simpsons re-runs for 6 hours in a row. He says he is an internet widow - Theres not really a smart answer back to that really is there? The intermaweb, as he calls it, is all nonsense to him.

For the last two days though I have not been online, Joanna and myself have had what we so eloquently call the 'lurgi' or bug. I can stand sore throats, colds, flu and many other every day ailments however vomitting really gets me. And yet what is the first thing my dear husband decides to do whilst I am suffering? yeap you got it - surf the net....nuff said.

So here I am sneakily disobeying my husband and having a sneaky five minutes (ok maybe 15) online whilst he is in the bath. Promise to catch up with all my reads soon. Hi to Natalie - miss catching you online now your working. And Jilly my yahoo pool partner. Better get offline now before my marriage ends in divorce.

The last week has been so hectic here. Because I am too lazy to write a long entry here is my last week in the form of a list (I like lists)

1. Gary dragged me to a lorry show in his truck last weekend where I suffered endless truck talk and lots of shiny lorries - Men and their toys!!!! Say no more


Very pretty trucks !!!!!!! 

2. Had my first party on Tuesday night for Fairydust gifts We usually sell on Ebay but decided to have a go at party plan. In short, cleaned all day, curtain rail fell down, only 5 turned up and I ended up drinking a couple of bottles of wine on my own after everyone went and went to bed feeling very merry - We did quite well regardless and have another party booked :)

3. Had a call early Wednesday morning to say Garys grandad had died. Was a very sad day - He was a great bloke.

4. Friday Gary crashed his lorry and completely destroyed a Honda who had stalled at a roundabout. Even the kebab and 4 bars of chocolate he ate when he got home failed to improve his mood.

5. Saturday and another lorry outing, this time we were towing a carnival float around town. In our infinate wisdom we not only took our kids but nephew Kieran. All I can say is that I havent been that tired in years.

Today I have done nothing and have loved it. Next week I have Gary home all week -He has decided to take some time out which is exactly what I will need after having him under my feet for a week .........just kidding ;)

I really should dye my hair blonde! I cant believe it, Hubby is going to kill me.

After finishing the wooden floor we have a few bits here and there that have to be filled in, so last weekend we went out and bought wood filler. In my infinate wisdom I decided to fill the holes in myself whilst Gary was working. So I grabbed the wood filler and went on my quest to prove myself an super-duper housewife. It never occured to me when I started filling in the holes that the wood filler should have been .... well .... wood coloured and not white!! It will change colour right???

WRONG....

After carefully filling and smoothing over most cracks in my horror I actually bothered to read the tubes label .... "no more nails" glue. We had bought this the same time to fix the edging around the floor and I didnt notice even though it was a different color. And of course now I cant get the clue out of the cracks and holes and hubby will be home in a few hours - Any ideas on a way out of this that is not gonna make me look like a fool?


They look kinda the same right? 

So who thought up this html nonsense anyway? Its all crap. I am not going to go into the details, But 7 hours, 3 bars of chocolate, a bottle of wine and nearly launching the pc out the window didnt do the trick. Thankyou to my fantastic sister Natalie who I know cannot refuse a challenge.

In other news daughter has her first wobbly tooth and is proudly shaking it in everyones face which can be quite disturbing.

Son has proved he can eat a multipack of Jaffa cakes leaving Dad upset because there were none left for him.

After getting laminate flooring down last week I now feel I have to go on a mission to buy lots of things for the house - So today my quest is for cushions!!! Yes that is as exciting as my life gets. A chinese meal and a film (tonight Meet the Fockers)on a Saturday night is sadly the highlight of my week.

Prehaps next weekend I will go and jump out of a plane or climb Mount Snowdon. You never know whats round the corner.

I am working on the template but its not quite right yet - excuse the mess. Will have another go tomorrow. :)

Update
Hey Sarah, your brilliant sister Natalie fixed your blog layout, it's taken me ages. ~Hugs~

Ok so maybe I lied about the posting the next day thing. So here I am a week later trying to get my lazy arse into gear.

In my defence I have done well on my diet and lost another 3lbs this week. And of course the kids were off school last week oh oh and there was no way I could blog because I lost my voice!!!! (well it was worth a try)

We finally (6 months later) finished the laminate flooring this weekend, I couldnt really be bothered to do it if I tell the truth however hubby was feeling proactive so I thought I had better take advantage.

The kids got the better of me this week and I ended up buying them crazy frog tshirts to my own horror. I hate the frog with a passion but my kids love him - I mean really love him. So I am forced to submit and say I suppose something that makes them smile like that cant be all bad. **Hides face in shame**

A big happy birthday to my sister Natalie all the way out in USA. Miss ya hun.

Just for Rhea - 10 Things I have never done.

1. I have never managed to successfully grow a plant.
2. I have never managed to eat more than 6 consecutive chocolate bars.
3. I have never ran a mile.
4. I have not yet swam with dolphins in blue blue water.
5. I have never won more than £10 on the lottery.
6. I have never been able to fit into a size 10 (or at least I cant remember it)
7. I have never had enough imagination to write a book.
8. I have not yet travelled the world.
9. I have never danced naked in the rain!!!
10. I have never had the courage to cut my hair really short.

Ah crap - I was going to write a nice long entry being as I havent blogged in a week, But my hubby has announced he is home tonight so I now have to run around like an idiot pretending to be the good little housewife that I am not.

We had a "discussion" on the weekend on how easy it is to be a housewife. According to the world of man there is....' no way I can say that I come home from dropping the kids off and clean all day until I pick them up' The world of woman replies 'Well duh no I do stop occasionally to have a pee and some food if thats ok'
He replies 'I am just saying you have it pretty easy' GOBSMACKED And yes he is still currently breathing despite me wanting to rip him to pieces.

Sooo its a race against the clock to prove my worth - so far in the last hour I have washed and dried the dishes, bribed the kids to clean the lounge, stuffed a load in the wash machine and tumble drier and had a quick dash around with the duster.

Now I have to prepare a tantalising meal for two with a tin of harlicot beans, quark (whatever the hell that is) and some tinned tomatos. Damn diet classes for not making more realistic meals for me to make. Wish me luck cos if it tastes shit my name will be mud.

Of course thats on top of everything else I have had to do today which I wont go into and this is now turning into a long post/rant ....sorry... blame pmt!!!

Promise to blog again tomorrow and answer the tag from Rhea.

The door on the car completely packed in on Friday and wouldnt stay shut, even if you got out and kicked the crap out of it. I mean car doors are there to stop you falling out whilst going around roundabouts - all except mine which wants to kill me.

So now after much argueing with a totally uninterested husband - I mean arnt men supposed to know how to fix this shit? You think he would be interested in me falling out of a car going at 50mph - It would hurt right?

His solution was to tie my door to the back door so now they stay closed but Ethan and I have to climb in the passenger side to get in. And thats not so easy. I am going to make no further comments on my husbands ability to repair cars.

The travelling fair was in town this weekend, and I promised the kids we would go on Saturday or Sunday. Only problem was it rained, Now this wasnt just any rain, this was torrential monsoon thunder and lightening overflow your guttering rain. Unsurprisingly the fair stayed shut. My life, consequently, was a living hell all weekend. Its all my fault that it rained - bet you didnt know I had total control over the weather.

Worst of all the fair packed up Monday morning and went on its way without the kids having paid a visit and how guilty do I feel? They get everything I can possibly provide them, which is more than alot of kids and yet I still feel guilty for not taking them to the fair.

On Friday Joanna's school has a teacher training day (but Ethan's playgroup doesnt)so we are having (according to Joanna) a girly day. I can tell this is going to be expensive. I just know she will use the emotional blackmail "mummy you didnt take us to the fair so can I have...." line.

How was I ever going to find it in this?


How am I supposed to find it in this? 

I looked for nearly half an hour this morning. It's Wednesday and library book day for Joanna. Look at that darkened pit though, How can a five year old that spends so much time making sure she looks beautiful have a bedroom like that?


Two hours later 

Now isnt that much better, more fitting for a beautifl little girl. A whole bag full of rubbish, 5 odd socks, a mouldy sandwhich and more hidden writing on the wall (please note if you are ever going to deny that you wrote on the wall you really shouldnt write your own name!!).. later and I finally find the damn book.


Finally - the library book. 

Too late of course. but ah well nevermind she does love the story. Can you believe I only cleaned that room a week ago? And more to the point that she has supposedly cleaned it three times since then.

I dont want to sound sexist here, But I only ask my husband to do one job around the house - Mow the lawn. I dont think its much to ask. I have been known to lay laminate flooring, paint bedrooms, mastic the conservatory roof and repair vcr's during the time he is away.

Why then is it that he assumes me as lazy when I ask him to do this one task. Am I lazy when I wash and iron his clothes? Am I lazy when I when I cook him food, de-flea the cat, wash the dishes, change the beds, and everything else that goes along with not only being mum but also being dad whilst he is away all week. He says "weekend is my time" I say "Mine too - but wait housework doesnt take time off"

The lawn did get mowed but unfortunately the strimmer got viciously dismantled when the cable broke for the 7th time. RIP strimmer.

Despite strimmers untimely death, we managed to have a good weekend, We ate lots (And I mean lots) Played hard (football in newly mown garden) And watched lots of tv (Rented the Incredibles film) The weather has been lovely and the weekend was enjoyed by all - here is some proof.


Ice cream is soooo good 

A week of weirdness consists of

Watching a mother at the school panic because she has to find a goldfish by 3pm that looks exactly like her daughters beloved Nemo who got eaten by the cat the night before.

Finding out that my son is a potential jedi after watching him beat the crap out of his gran and aunty at the same time with a light saber. They will have some bruises tomorrow.

Me kicking crap out of the car door today after not being able to get the door open - Yes this after not being able to keep them shut!!

Celebrating my Dads birthday with a cake (Even though he doesnt do birthdays or cake) because my daughter kept asking why he didnt have one. And I wont even talk about the candles.

Dashing out at 4.30pm on a Monday to post a Cinderella light up jiggly pen to an ebayer who absolutely, definately has to have one by Thursday!!!!!!!!

It being Tuesday and I am not skint, the house is clean and I have actually been to the gym.

And of course finally that it is Tuesday and this is the second blog entry of the week, I had better do something quick or I may actually pass for being organised.

Hello all - Yes I am still alive.

The last week and a half has been so busy.

Friday 30th - Driver side door on the car decides to start voluntarily throwing itself open - even when locked. This major problem forces us to hire a car to go on our trip to Milton Keynes.

Sat and Sun 1st and 2nd - After getting up at 3am sat we got to Milton Keynes without getting lost in any major way and met, Corin Nemec (Stargate), (Christian Coulson (Harry Potter), Tom Felton (Harry Potter), Sean Astin (Lotr), John Rhys Davies(lotr) Bernard Hill (Lotr) Alexis Denisof (buffy) James Marsters (buffy) and Anthony Stewart Head (Buffy) Phew Ooo and big shopping centre too - My credit card loved this place.


Sean Astin 

It was very tiring, but lots of fun.

Mon 3rd - Gary and I decide after the cars recent misbehaviour that its time for us to part company and spend the day looking at cars and then argueing over it which one to buy - Result = no new car

Tue, Wed and Thur - Oh shit, Essays, crap I forgot, I had to write two of them. Spent these three days educating myself and writing up essays on scientific progress in the 17th and 18th centuries and Darwin.

Fri - Oh shit again - No clean bowls - better do some washing up, No clean knickers either - I guess I should do the laundry.

Sat and Sun - Gary is home and the debate about a new car continues. My head hurts when I think about this now.

Tomorrow and Tuesday will be spent continuing to sort this house out - I am exausted just thinking about it.

Ok so I know its already a day late but I am still here. Children are stressing me out, the chores are undone and the chocolate was really nice. Yes I ate chocolate - I have been stressed this week, not only am I suffering from a really really bad case of pms, I have had a 3000 word essay dues in on Freud (Yes I know - Not easy stuff) Result = Chocolate, weigh in meant 1lb on, Hmmmmm not amused but saw it coming. Jilly you owe me a fiver!!!!

So sorry to all my daily reads, I will visit and catch up on all your blogs I promissssse.

I have another two history essays due in by next Wednesday which means I dont get to spend much time playing yahoo pool (One of my new obsessions)

On the bright side I am going to be unbelievably sad this weekend and travel to Milton Keynes with my sisters to Collectormania Reason why I want to go
1. No kids 2. Sean Astin 3. No hubby 4. Its in the middle of a huge shopping centre 5. Theres bound to be a pub somewhere 6. No kids or hubby.

I think I have made my point :) Have a great day all

Why is there always someone in this world that makes you feel inferior or makes all the effort in the world to try and make you feel that way?

Today we had a Sunday dinner with the in laws and Garys (hubby) brother and his family. Garys brother goes out of his way to highlight what he has and we dont. We usually do our best to avoid such family dinners, However after dodging it for nearly 18 months its about time we made the effort especially knowing what it means to my mother in law seeing her two sons together.

So I knew what to expect right? So why did I paint my nails, put on three types of face cream, and spend over half an hour making sure that my daughters hair was perfect? I really dont know.

So the brother in law and family turn up in a brand new car and then asked us why we hadnt bothered changing ours in the last two years.

He then proceeded to insult the amount of grey in Garys hair (despite the fact that even though he is only 2 years older than Gary, lost all his hair about 5 years ago)
Garys reply was "I can dye mine - Yours will never grow back"

Then it was how much do you earn? Then where are you going on holiday this year we just got back from Cuba. Then how did you two have such beautful kids? And finally How much do you weigh?

I mean why do they need to know - We dont speak to them from one year to the next. Families eh? They are never easy.

Aims for this week, 1 Go to gym three times (yes I joined a gym YEY me!!) 2 Blog every two days (Ms Mac where do you find the time to blog so much??) 3. Write at least two of the three essays I have due in.

There are many things in my life I dont understand. If you know any answers please let me know. Here are the whys ....

1. Why do I still get excited about getting mail even though I only ever get bills?

2. Why does Weetabix go so hard on the breakfast bowls if you dont wash it off right away?

3. Why are men so damn irrational?

4. Why doesnt salad taste as good as chocolate?

5. Why is it the more channels you have on your tv the less there is on?

6. Why is it I always see things I like whilst window shopping but even the same stuff isnt half as appealing when I have money?

7. Why does grass grow so quickly and yet the seeds I planted (following the instructions exactly) wont grow at all?

8. Why do the takeaways either laugh or simply dont deliver when I tell them I live in Springfield

And here are the hows...

9. How can kids make so much mess brushing their teeth?

10. How can you put a stone on in 6 weeks but losing it takes 6 months

11. How come after 13 years I still cant remember my inlaws birthdays

12. How come my life is soo boring that I really can think about nothing better to blog about (Dont take the piss in the comments ;) !!!!)

You ever had one of those days where everything goes your way?? Well Monday was like that for me I am happy to say. Kids went back to school (neither I or them could wait) I found out I had more money than I thought and I started to feel a bit more positive about my diet.

I LOST 7LBS (please no jokes about where I lost it!!!!) So have been all happy smiley.

My mum called me on Tuesday, She had decided to confess that she had called in sick and I was the excuse. Apparently my car had broken down and she had to help me out. When I went to pick the kids up from school what happened - Hand break cable snaps with a huge clonk. I was not impressed its the first time anything ever happened whilst I have been driving it (in 3 years) Amazing coincidence or curse?

Hubby was home last night, now usually this would be a good thing but last night I wasnt in the mood to tolerate men - You know what I mean right? ( Btw I am sure it works the other way around as well) He wasnt the slightist bit interested in all the healthy food I had bought for my diet and phoned for takeaway. He nagged and nagged and nagged until I agreed to have something - Salad in a pitta bread.

Now why is it that men moan that you dont look like Angelina Jolie but are always trying to get you to pig out. Which is it - Make your damn minds up. Ok sorry rant over. I will remain strong :)

Some pictures of Llanelli now for Tammi - Sorry you have waited so long. Will take some more I promise.


My local Asda 


Llanelli town 


Llanelli Scarlets 


Town hall 

7 days and counting - Yes that I have managed to stay that long on a diet is truely amazing. I am going to weigh on Wednesday and if I havent suffered enough to lose 5lbs then I am gonna smash the scales to bits. Still feel fat and still feel shitty.

The chidren are back in school tomorrow after a fortnight off which means I have to get my lazy arse out of bed at 7am, The peace during the day will be worth it though. How did my house stand up to the kids being home?

Well Joanna decided to blow dry her own hair and forgot to switch the dryer off - The result was she burnt her bedroom carpet. Looks like it has minature crop circles in it - Hmmmm havent showed that one to hubby yet.

She also decided it would be fun to decorate her bedroom walls with body glitter that I was stupid enough to buy her. My theory on all this is that its her bedroom and as long as I can get in there twice a week to get her dirty clothes then all is ok with the world.

Ethan hasnt been so bad, I mean apart from the toothpaste and the cat incident ( I wont go into details)

Gary remains occupied with his new love DAF (his truck) and me .... well I am just muddling along trying to avoid most things I can squirm my way out of, like Visiting the optician, getting my overdue smear test and finally writing my three overdue essays. I so want to eat a huge bar of chocolate right now.

Note to self : Get your act together and wise up

Is it me or is everyone obsessed with something. Husband has had to go back on the road because we struggle on his lower pay. So he has a nice new truck to do this in. Now honestly you would swear this truck was actually living the way he talks about "her" He has big plans for "her" he wants to get more flashy lights for "her" and of course he needs some new stickers and mats too.

Meantime daughter has developed a fascination with vanity, where she gets this from I have no idea as I am by no means vain. She changes clothes about five times a day and always has her disney princess make up on along with her one and only real necklace. On watching 101 dalmations this week she now wants to know everything about fur coats and I simply cannot answer enough questions (yes even the morbid ones) I could not believe it when she asked a lady in town who was wearing a fur coat if she was Cruella De Vil.

The boy although only three is not without his own little obsession - Small toy cars. Last count he has over 200. Every time he is asked what he wants for birthdays, days out - Anything that involves a little treat - Its cars. He loves them and takes them everywhere with him. yes all 200 :(

My mum is obsessed with Ebay, My dad with music, One of my sisters loves Stargate and the other spends every waking moment acting.

So this got me wondering what was my obsession - I didnt have to look very far did I ?? To my shame I must spend a good 40 - 50 hours online a week. Now if thats not obsessed I dont know what is. I surf anything - blogs, Ebay, msn groups. Is it actually possible to get bored of the internet?

I always have an image in my head of how the perfect family day out would go, where the kids behave, dont have tantrums, eat the food they are given and dont nag me reapeatedly for things I can't afford to buy them. Yesterday was the first time this has ever happened.We had an all round good day out at a farm/funfair park called Folly Farm. I didn't argue with hubby, he didn't drive like an idiot there or back and I didn't spend the day dying for a pee because I couldn't find a toilet.

Today however is a different story. You see whilst hubby and me slept in this morning our darling children decided it would be fun to get up early and sneak downstairs and empty the cupboards. In little over an hour they ate 5 packs of mini cheaddars, 3 packets of monster munch, 7 kinder bars, 8 packets of chewits, 2 packets of snack a jacks, 2 fortune cookies (dont ask) and 3 bars of chocolate. This went along with them getting into my make up box and plastering themselves in make up, Putting half a bottle of nail varnish in Ethans hair and also watering their teddy bears to see if they would grow.

This resulted in Gary shouting rather loudly and me spending alot of time cleaning. Hubby has banned me from getting them sweets or treats all week - Thats ok for him to say He doesnt have to put up with the shit I am gonna get for this. It's only 1.30pm and I cant wait until bedtime. I have another week left of the holidays and I wonder how I will keep sane. Why do teachers have to have so many holidays? Does boarding school cost alot? Ah ignore me I have a cold and I wanna have a tantrum too, plus I really have to start my diet this week because hubby says you can notice I have put on ALOT of weight. I know what you are thinking but no I havent killed him YET.

I am absolutely wrecked. In theory having a joint party for both your kids (even though there is nearly two months between their birthdays) is a good idea. The harsh reality is that you are heading for a nervous breakdown.

You see, I thought telling them I would cancel the party if they didn't behave was a smart idea. Reality was they make my life hell for the week leading up to it.

I thought giving Joanna her new shoes on the morning of her party would be a good idea - she could break them in a bit. Reality was she spent the entire day clonking about in them asking when she could put the rest of her party clothes on. Never have a birthday party at 4pm in the holidays.

I thought if Gary started extra early there would be no problem him getting home in time. Reality was that this just mean't to his boss he could fit more in. This situation ended with me threatening Gary with a horrible death if he was not back in time. He got home.

I thought asking family as well as the childrens friends would get the whole thing over in one go. Reality was they all came to the house early and I had to sit with my mother in law all the way through the party.

I thought that having the party at the local kids funpark was less hassle. Reality was that 20 kids running around screaming "We are free" repeatedly had to get told off by someone and guess who that was!

I thought this would also mean less mess at home. Reality was my house is a tip because they had bags of presents and got to bring the left over food home. Also why buy play doh and stickers for a present - Its just nasty.

You have a picture of things in your head of how things will go - why do they never go like that? Reality is harsh.

All in all though things went ok, kids enjoyed and I am £90 poorer. My darling daughter is 5 years old today. Happy Birthday Joanna.


Joanna - The birthday girl 


Ethan - Birthday boy 

And if it ever gets back to hubby that I posted this pic I will die the horrible death.


My man would kill me if he knew I was posting this. 

I have had such a busy week I wonder where I find the time to breathe. After fitting in two essays in, in a day (yes I know I shouldnt leave them till last minute but I do) Visiting family, having sisters down to stay, going out for a family meal as well as fitting in what seems like thousands of other things, Gary decides on Sunday it is take your wife to work day. Only problem with that is that he is a truck driver.

After having refused many many times and having watched him go to all the effort of finding a babysitter I really couldn't say no.

Soooo off we went early Sunday morning - Believe me when I say I would rather have been at home scoffing easter eggs.


The open Road 

We travelled from South to North Wales and back all in a day. Through some spectacular scenery.


Wild Wales 

And I tell you what we talked all the way there and back stopping only to pick up some drinks and chocolate (Yes thats my fault lol) He transports chipped wood and we delivered to a place that had mountains and mountains of the stuff.


Thats alot of wood chip 

I was impressed with myself and really adapted well to trucking life, I had my travel mug of tea, I got myself a yorkie and we even stopped in a truck stop for a truckers dinner lol.


Proper trucker now aint I? 

Had a brilliant day though - Got a rather sexy picture of hubby in all his work gear lol will show you all if you ask me nicely.

You see its like this..... I really was going to make the beef in puff pastry thing but ..... Wales won the grand slam rugby and... well it was very good and like most people in Wales I had to have a few drinks to celebrate.

I had every intention of making a perfect romantic evening meal however my laziness got in the way so I ended up making the following - Beef in satay sauce (very nice) Garlic mushrooms and yung chow fried rice. It was amazing - I am such a good cook.



The art of cooking 


OK OK maybe not. **Hangs head in shame**

I did however make a first class sunday dinner, all the trimmings and semolina to follow (havent had that in years) Everyone ate the lot which meant I was glowing with smug satisfaction all day - The car keys incident is all a distant memory now, with any luck this will be an incident free week (I have just jinxed myself now havent I?)

I havent burnt the house down yet - But its not looking good. This weekend I am preparing beef in puff pastry with steamed vegetables and some mushroom thing. I have bought all the spices and even figured out how to work the cooker. I still refuse to buy an apron. I will let you know how my culinary masterpiece goes.

On a different subject I am still trying to get hubby to buy me a new car but even my best "I love you" eyes arnt working. He says I dont look after the one I have and that I havent washed the car for so long the bird shit will never come off it. In my best efforts to persuede him I took the car to Tescos for a car wash. £5 to get it washed - What a rip off. (He was right though it didn't come off)

Soooooo I decided to vacumn it as well - How good am I??? However ..... What I did next will haunt me forever. After putting in my money and marvelling at the power of the hover I decided to start with the seats. But unfortunately for me thats where I had left my car keys. On immediately realising I frantically grabbed at them but alas had to watch them dissapear up the nozzle. Why the hell is it big enough to suck up my keys anyway eh?

I then had to suffer the embarressment of going into the Tescos petrol station and explaining my predicament. Between the cashiers fits of laughter they told me unsurprisingly it had never happened before. Thankfully I was able to recover my keys from the machine although they were a bit dusty. I have decided not to mention the incident to hubby.

Another Monday and another day of endless housewife crap. Husband has conluded that I must cook more to save money and have a healthier diet. Only problem is I cant cook - No I really cant. I got together with Gary 13 years ago and yet three years ago my mother in law bought me a basic cookbook for my birthday. It taught me how to boil an egg - Now dont get me wrong I am not totally shit in the kitchen - I just dont see myself as the apron wearing, bread baking, always got cookies on the go, kind of housewife.

So tomorrow I venture forth into that scarey place called the supermarket and will be buying lots of vegetables - other ingredients (unless its a sauce in a jar I am not too sure what ingredients are lol) and a damn good cookbook.

Now although I have visions of creating masterpiece meals that everyone looks forward to every day I have the feeling its going to be more of a case of everyone looking puzzled at the plate trying to suss out what it was.

I was planning on starting afresh on the diet anyways so I guess its not all bad. Perhaps I should now buy an apron as well.

YEY me!! I went to the gym today and am feeling super fit and healthy. Of course as one of the biggest people there (amoung all the rakes) the only thing I could do was see the funny side of things. Hence we spent most of the time giggling. I got alot of dirty looks from 'serious' gym goers.

Feel alot more cheerful :) I would love to join up there especially since students get a discount. But moneys not looking to rosy at the moment. Since Gary has stopped been away and earning good money things seem very tight. I wonder how everyone manages on a 'normal' wage. So question - should he stay home and be permanently broke or send him away so we can have the nicer things?

Ooo And should I secretly join the gym and tell him later?? lol If only I knew the answers!!!

If you cant see the pictures above its because msn are playing up and thats where I save my pics too. Please could you just take a second to tell me if you see the comment box below as a few people are telling me they are not seeing it and I dont know why :(

Ok I need to get my act together. I need a life coach. My friend is seeing one and she believes it is really helping her get through her divorce. There are many reasons why I need a life coach but I wont go into them. Lets just say not only has willpower done a runner, but energy and motivation decided to take a trip as well. Anyone been to a life coach?

I guess I never imagined when I was younger that I would spend all day every day planning what to cook for food that night and worrying about housework. But then I dont suppose many people do.

I have seen more vommit in the last week than I care to mention, Both children and myself have been ill. So that means tons of extra washing as well :(

There are little things that cheer me up though. Daughter Joanna caught Daddy having a sly cigarette on the weekend, she shouted at him loudly "Daddy I thought you gave up fagging" (Any americans I am not being sick or anything we British sometimes call a cigarette a fag - Although I have never heard of fagging lol)

There are many reasons according to my husband why I shouldnt be allowed in the kitchen.

1. I really am dangerous with a knife - I have nearly cut of my fingers many a time.

2. I hate putting food in the oven - After burning myself when I was younger in cookery class making.

3. I always forget we have a smoke alarm - I dont intentionally burn things though.

4. Apparently I make a rubbish cup of coffee - So Gary, Garys mum and Dad and my mum and dad tell me.

5. Any kind of chocolate, biscuits, ice cream or nearly anything really (apart from fruit) arn't say in there.

6. I do not wash dishes properly - Now dont ask me where hubby gets this from - If the foods off them they are clean right?

7. I use cake mix to make cakes

8. I dont own an apron.

9. I add quorn and sugar to spagetti bolognese. (It tastes brilliant though)

10. I can't cut bread straight.

I have told him if I am so terrible then he should get on with it himself. As you can imagine to stay out of the kitchen is quite difficult in my present occupation.

I am back in blogging world - I have been neglecting you all. I deny all blame for this. My darling husband has found a new way for me to contribute to the household income without me leaving the house (as if breeding cats and selling EBay isnt enough) Surveys. Yes thats right surveys - I am now filling in about 10 a day and boy is it keeping me busy.

Other reasons why I have a busy life right now...

Yet again I have left all my college essays till last minute and now have three to do by next Wednesday.

Husband is still doing his "Woe is me" act with his foot and therefore I am still playing dutiful wife to him.

I am trying to train Ethan boy to stay dry in the night - resulting in lots of extra washing (and me falling down the stairs trying to carry too many wet sheets - OUCH)

Oh and Joannas school called me to pick her up this morning as she was feeling sick. She made it to the main steps of the school before throwing up all the way down them. Nice! She is fine now and tucking into a big plate of chips and beans.

Have you heard the UK eurovision entries? I really think it would be better if we didnt enter. Nuff said!!

Happy St Davids day

Today is St Davids day - When the welsh celebrate the patron Saint of Wales. The kids get to dress up in costumes. Girls in a Welsh Lady outfit and boys in a waistcoat and flatcap (or more recently a rugby shirt)

For them it means a fun day in school eating Cawl (Welsh vegetable soup) and Welsh cakes. For me it means getting soaking wet whilst standing outside a church for 40 mins waiting to see Joanna sing in a church service. It was well worth the wait.



St Davids day 

Another new template - Yes I know!!!! I guess I am going to keep changing it until I find the one.

I would love to write you all a long and interesting entry right now but unfortunately I am having my marriage vows tested this week. The "obey" rule of my written contract is being inspected so I have to make sure everything is up to scratch.

My inspector (In the shape of my husband who fell in work this week and has torn ligaments in his ankle and is therefore unable to walk for the foreseeable future) is very demanding - I am pushing myself to the limit and was sadly in bed at 9.30 last night after he went off duty (aka as asleep)

This morning I have been "obeying" since about 7am and only now am getting a cup of tea. The inspection also means I have to go in front of a panel of high inspectors (Mother and father in law) where I will partake in "lunch" to discuss my current role, and computer knowledge (Setting up MIL's new pc)

The inspection will continue until further notice (It all depends whether or not he has to have a cast on in which case I am in big trouble) or until I crack and do a runner.

Please keep me in your thoughts, I have to go now - Inspector is calling.

Ok weatherman - You and me had an understanding - or so I thought. You forecast snow from last Sunday and I was happy to accept this. Did we get snow on Sunday - NO. You have also promised on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Today - Have we had any yet? No. So whats going on then? I promised my children snow - are you trying to make me look like a liar?

I have no more patience - Do your job properly or I will have to take my complaint to your boss! I demand you rectify this problem - get out there and start blowing those clouds over here! I mean blue skies and sun are fine as long as its not -2 degrees.

Ps London is not the only place in the UK. If it is snowing in London that doesnt mean that the rest of the country is getting "snowed in"

New Template - Looks alot different too. I wanted something a bit simpler - The other was getting so complicated. Thanks to my sis Natalie on help with the html code.

My life as it is at the moment?

Kids - Both full of cold but back in school :)

Husband - Boring and foul tempered having just given up smoking and gained half a stone in a week!

The cat - On heat and calling - Doesnt she realise it cost £350 to get her a shag - Shut up animal! Its not gonna happen right now!!!!

The Weather - Not snowing and why the hell not?

The diet - Put on 3 and a half pounds. My reaction was a big bar of galaxy hazlenut.

Me - Cold, tired, skint but happy :)

Yesterday I was reading an article I forget where, It basically said that to diet successfully you had to feel good about yourself - Ah bugger - SO this is obviously what I am doing wrong.

Now it may sound stupid but dont you diet because you feel like shite anyway? I mean you dont diet because you look great in size 18 jeans right?

You dont diet because after eating a multi pack of snickers you feel on top of the world (If you felt good about yourself you wouldn't be eating the damn things)

I feel brilliant when I am in a nightclub and all the men stare at the skinny blonde cow dancing away wearing nothing but a belt and a bra!!!

Who was the idiot that thought up this theory?? The reason for being on a diet is because you want to change yourself.

Anyway that said I had a brill birthday - Did absolutely bugger all and ate loads of chocolate and indian food - Just the way I like it :) Thankyou for all the birthday wishes.

We are forecast snow for the weekend and I am (quite sadly) getting all excited. I WANT SNOW, I WANT SNOW, I WANT SNOW. (That is until its declared a snow day and I cant get the kids to school)

Oh yeah and did I mention dieting sucks?

Happy Birthday to me

Happy Birthday to me.


Woooo Hoooo. Today I am 29 which is actually pretty damn cool because I am not quite 30 if you know what mean. So today I am celebrating still being in my twenties. I am off to drop the kids off at their grandparents and I am off for some retail therapy **big grins**

Are all firemen sexy? Sorry I know its a stereotype but cor blimey yesterday ... two doors down the smoke alarm started going off and the appropriate people were called. Two engines of rather yummy men turn up. What can I say, after hastily dressing the kids (incase a rapid exit was called for) I dashed upstairs to swap my night dress for something a little better.

Kids are a great starting point for conversations...Have you noticed? Ethan boy immediately wanted to see the fire engine and the firemen were only too happy to help letting both kids jump up into the engine for a look around. So there I was chatting away when I noticed I was still wearing my fluffy lilac slippers .... Oh no the shame!!

After about an hour it was concluded that the smoke alarm was simply faulty. Ethan and Joanna had fun in the fire engine and I enjoyed looking at the scenery ;.) And no I am not going to comment on hoses.

This half term we have visited one of those soft indoor play areas, visited both sets of grandparents, visited the hospital, garage and many other places my kids dont normally go. I have spent a fortune on them and yet what will be the first thing they say when they go back to school next week? I went in a fire engine.

There is very little my children can say that will now embarrass me! Their 17 year old Aunty Emmy on the other hand is a different story. Joanna had an appointment at the opticians in the hospital this afternoon so I dragged aunty Emmy along for the ride as well as Ethan boy.

5 minutes after arrival Ethan boy decides he needs to go to the bathroom. Handy that there was one just by the reception area (so I bullied Aunty Emmy into taking boy) Not handy that the ventilation on the door meant that all could hear every sound. The conversation was as follows.

Aunty Emmy : Ok pull your pants down.
Ethan boy: *giggle* I have a stinky
Aunty Emmy: OMG that stinks
............ oh no
............ What are you doing?
............ Stay still - dont move
............ How did it get there?
............ Its everywhere..
............ Wait .. stop
............ dont do that
............ Just dont move
Ethan boy: *giggles*

Silence ...............

On Aunty Emmys exit from the bathroom she is holding a bundled up jacket covered in -Well I guess you all know right?

The whole reception area is staring. To make things worse - A doctor passing by comments on Ethans cheeky smile and then picks up the bundled jacket that Aunty Emmy drops when she she realises that everyone heard their conversation. The smell immediately gives away what the doctor has on his hands. Aunty Emmy is bright red and swears that she will never have children.

Joanna on the other hand skips into the optician and reads off the letters on the chart happily, when the eye doctor puts those funny glasses on her (the ones that hide one eye) she looks at the chart a minute a little puzzled and then comments how she would be able to read it easier if she didnt have the glasses on and one eye covered - Well I guess thats common sense to a 4 year old.

Happy valentines 


Reasons why after 13 years I still love my hubby

1. He has beautiful blue eyes and has hobbit style wavy hair

2. He always makes me laugh.

3. He is really naive (not always cute but I am feeling romantic today)

4. He will watch chick flicks and Lord of the rings with me.

5. He loves chocolate almost as much as me.

6. He is a good cook.

7. He tells me at the end of every phone call that he loves me.

8. He understands when I spend hours online as long as I dont bother him with the details.

9. He still puts up with me after 13 years.

10. He also hates holidays like valentines day - And like me thinks that cards are totally pointless.

That said have a really romantic valentines day all.

After dragging the husband kicking and screaming to the doctors on Friday, He has been given nicotine patches and resolved to give up smoking There are many reasons why chosing this weekend to give up smoking hasnt been the best decision.

He has been working straight for the last two weeks and doesnt know when he will have his next day off.

After deciding to keep the car he had to repair the brakes on it this weekend (It now has a couple of extra dents in it) I could even hear him shouting "F***ing stupid b***ard car" from the house.

It snowed whilst he was was out there.

Three of his tools broke whilst he was trying to fix it.

It got dark

The children are off school for a week meaning they have more energy to agrivate Dad.

We ran out of coffee (My fault - He will not let me forget it either)

Someone decided to paintball his lorry overnight.

His favourite chinese was closed for new years.


I have been shouted at for everything from not washing the dishes properly to looking at him when I shouldnt. On the bright side this is his second cigarette free day. He has smoked for the last eighteen years so I guess there are many mood swings to come. He has tried many times before - fingers crossed that this is the time. In the meantime the only thing I resolve to do this week is stay out of his way.

Jilly tagged me so here goes..

Random Ten Albums From My Collection:

1. Phil Collins - I cant dance
2. The Scissor Sisters debut
3. Keane - Hopes and Fears
4. Girls aloud - What will the neighbours say
5. Robbie Williams - Greatest hits
6. Madonna - Music
7. Maroon 5 - Songs about Jane
8. U2 - Zooropa
9. Britney spears - My prerogative
10. Ministry of Sound - The Album 2005

What is the total amount of music files on your computer? 124

The last CD you bought is Keane - Hopes and fears

What is the song you last listened to before this message? Gwen stephani - What are you waiting for.

Five songs that you often listen to or that mean alot to you:
1. U2 Zooropa - Make me think of my first holiday Gary and I went on.
2. Elton John - Sacrifice - When I had one of my first serious kisses.
3. Puff Daddy - I'l be missing you - Reminds me of when Garys gran died :(
4. Belissima - I think thats what its called. Reminds me of my wild teenage days.
5. Phil collins - In the air tonight - Brilliant base - always cheers me up when I am down.

Who are you gonna pass this stick to (5 people)?

Natalie
Emily
Rhea
Tammi
Letti

I think I have kicked my coke addiction

Ok now that really sounds worse than it is. Firstly let me apologise for my really bad mood this week. Let me explain ..... Just over a week ago I went to the doctors as I have not been sleeping well at all. After asking various questions he asked me how many cups of coffee I drink a day. I was always been proud of the fact that I dont drink coffee and therefore lead a caffine free life.

Now heres the part where I feel stupid - It never occured to me that the 2 litres of Coca Cola I have been drinking daily had caffine in it (Well at least not enough to keep you staring at the ceiling all night) I think I should dye my hair blonde. The doctor was amazed I was getting any sleep at all drinking that much coke every day and said I could expect it to take up to a month to get off the "coke" altogether.

After a week of bad tempers and headaches (and rants as demonstrated in my last post) I think I am back to normal and coke free. I now have a new addiction - Caffine free tea. I have taken endless jokes at my expense from family and friends. And, well what can I say ..... "Silly me"

To improve my mood I won £20 on a scratch card this morning, Gary got a bonus in his pay and we are going to repair the car having found the parts really cheap. I am looking forward to a caffine free weekend and a nice long lie in :)

Watch out - Its rant time again.

Why is it that it always has to rain when I take the kids to and from school and then clear up straight afterwards.

Why is it that whilst I am totally skint and my friend who can afford two brand new cars and two holidays this year, expects me to take his kid to and from school every day (out of my way without offering me petrol money) so that he can work and then has a go at me when I refuse to do it anymore. (If someone would take my kids to school then I could work and not be skint!!!)??

Why is it that yesterday my little one decided to shut the car door with my arm in it and nearly broke my arm - I now have a brilliant blue bruised arm and a nice big cut? I feel sorry for me

Why is it that nutters come up to me in the supermarket (Whilst I am minding my own business) and start speaking Russian to me?

Why is it always my car that breaks down?

Why is it that my cat bites visitors ankles?

Why is it that my willpower has gone awol again?

Why is it that I will be 29 in a week which is almost 30 and wow where did the last 15 years go?

Why is it that I havent achieved anything in my life yet?

Why is it that when I take a step forward at the moment I end up taking two steps back?

Why is it that when I pick up the kids from school later on and take one look at their smiles everything will be ok?

Good News. I have recovered my willpower - It had fallen down the back of the sofa and we have now been reunited. Whilst I was down there I also found my motivation, an odd sock and a few coins totalling £1.27. To my joy I lost half a pound this week, and the class leader was most impressed, I stayed and took part in the exercise class. I must be the youngest there by 20 years (and I am nearly 29) so it can get a little scarey as you can imagine.

My baby boy was three yesterday. He wore his Thomas the Tank "I am three" badge with pride flashing it at every old lady he saw and wearing his most cheeky smile - He did well from it even gaining some sweets from the checkout lady at Asda. We had some lovely chocolate birthday cake (willpower had just gone for a bath whilst I ate some)

It looks like my car is ready to retire, It failed its MOT this week. Having spent countless money on it during the last year we have decided its time to buy a new one. I dread the whole experience as I know it will be all my husband will talk about for weeks. For me a car is a way to take the kids to school - Whether or not it has cupholders has never been (and I doubt will ever be) an issue for me. I have no idea why anyone needs heated seats, electric mirrors or windscreen wipers on the headlights. All I know is (without trying to sound stupid and stereotypical) blue cars are nice ;.)

My willpower has been stolen. If anyone knows who took it please could they let me know. The reward is all the chocolate that I have just bought. My willpower was last seen yesterday just after eating a pot of healthy noodles. Since then I have been subjected to a chinese, a burger king, an entire chocolate orange, three bowls of cereal and two baked potatos with tuna and mayo. Not only have I lost my willpower but I have also lost any potential weight loss this week.

I am thinking of doing a reconstruction of all events leading up to the point when my willpower was stolen as it has been suggested this may help in its recovery. However I really feel the whole thing may be too upsetting for me.

If you have seen or found my willpower please get in touch with me asap. I need it back before Tuesday when I go back to diet class. Thankyou.

My Daddy's gay!!!!!!

In the school yard this morning, My daughter was discussing hair length with her friends. I have heard this discussion many times before but this time I nearly died of embarresment. One of the girls commented on how her Daddy had short hair and what does my darling daughter announce proudly to all that would listen?

"MY DAD HAS LONG HAIR - HE IS GAY"

My four year old daughter has decided that all men with long hair are gay. To prolong the uncomfortable situation even more, my three year old son decided to prance around singing joyfully "gay gay gay gay gay" I suddenly had a vision of the rest of Joanna's class joining in singing "gay gay gay gay gay" and forming a conga line in a perfect Ally Mcbeal moment (which coincidently is one of husbands favourite programmes)

I felt I had to comment on the situation and said "It would explain his devestation when Steps and S Club split up but I dont think so sweetie"

Husband released this statement "We are totally comfortable with ones sexuality and there are no plans to shorten hair length in the foreseeable future"

Question - Change the template or keep it the same. Should I go brighter? Or more of the same style. What do you think?

A care bear tried to kill me yesterday. Yes thats right - those soft cuddly things with the tattoo on their tummy. Its amazing how much they hurt when they are launched at you at 100mph by your daughter, son and husband (yes thats right husband)
Of course after that I declared war and threw a full scale teddy tantrum literally. The upstairs of my house has not yet recovered, I should have really cleaned them up afterward but couldnt be bothered, Got up in the middle of the night and nearly fell down the stairs on a cuddly singing dog. Curse the person who decided to add annoying music to soft toys. Why is it only grandparents who buy toys that make noise?

We all followed the teddy incident by making some cakes, But unfortunately husband misread teaspoon and put tablespoons of water in the butter icing - You can imagine the mess as of course the children insisted we still put it on the cakes and eat them afterwards.

I will let him off because this morning I saw him more embarressed than I have in years. On dropping our children off at their grandmothers for the day and driving back home, husband commented on a young lady with long tanned legs and blonde hair (you can imagine the comment) On closer inspection the young lady turned out to be someone we had babysat for when we were sixteen, she had been eight at the time. So we both now offically feel old and husband feels horrified that he made such a comment - Although it was nice to watch him squirm.

If today had been Friday 13th I really would have stayed in bed. This week has tried my patience to the maximum. A culmination of small things has led to me eat my entire body weight in chocolate (and believe me when I say thats alot of chocolate)

I have smashed my car, Joanna has been ill, Argued with hubby, realised I am going to skint forever and my house is like a tip despite my best efforts.

Ethan now has his own accident book in school as he injures himself so often. Pain is obviously for the weak.

I left a red sock in white load of washing and now all my knickers are pink - Did I mention I hate pink.

I bought a new book shelf last weekend that was so badly made that it was impossible to put it together. They refused me a refund until told them I would try and put it
together in the shop there and then to show how crap it was. I got a refund - That is the last time I buy flat pack furniture.

I have ruined my diet to the extent of gaining 4lbs and have broken every new years resolution I made.

I also had my first nasty comment on my blog this week. Apparently I am raising a sexist male and an oppressed woman. You ever noticed that these idiots never have the courage to leave their addy or link? This was one of the things that did make me smile ironically. Did I mention that my daughter wants to be the worlds first formula 1 driver? Who am I to tell her she cant?

On top of all this I have the most enormous spot on my nose and smashed two milk bottles this morning.

I heard that this week was the most depressing week of the year - No comment. I think I need some happy pills - or more chocolate!!! And Vodka!!!

It has been a tough couple of days. A friend of mine from college had a heartattack on Monday and drove his car into some parked cars. He died almost instantly. As there were only 5 on my course we know each other well. I had alot of respect for this man - He was wise and had a truely interesting mind. He loved a lively debate.

Another friend said to me "puts things in perspective doesnt it?" this woman has lost her mum and found out her husband is cheating on her in the last few months - I wonder how much more perspective she needs.

In college today the subject was the soul - appropriate or inappropriate - I am not sure. How do we define soul, what is it? Food for thought.

The topic .... Which are worse, little boys or little girls? Having one of both it is my view that the later is the hardest work. Here are my reasons why.

1. Boys dont need to change their clothes five times a day to look fashionable.

2. Boys dont generally steal your lipstick.

3. Boys dont ask random women in the street where they got their skirt. (and yes my daughter is not even five yet and she believes that people cant take their eyes off her because she is wearing furry yeti boots and a poncho)

4. Boys dont argue with classmates over who has the longest hair and then pout for half an hour after measuring it and discovering that theirs is shorter.

5. Boys dont bitch, scram, and grass up siblings as much.





On the other hand.....

1. Girls dont bite their mums till they bleed and then laugh hysterically.

2. Girls dont get jealous when Dad gives mum a kiss and try and beat Dad up.

3. Girls dont drag the cat around by the tail and laugh at her when she frantically scrams the floor.

4. Girls dont have the appetite of a small horse.

5. Girls wouldnt even think of dipping their toothbrush in the toilet.




What do you think?

Ok so say you had a family member who had decided to lose a few pounds (and although I am on a diet, before you ask no the following entry is not about me!) We will, for arguements sake call this family member Miss Bananna because she would kill me if I named her.

Having never been on any kind of diet before Miss Bananna decided after a christmas binge it was time to shed that extra weight. So you have heard of Slimfast right? Miss Bananna went out and bought a whole weeks supply hopeful in her quest, and continued to drink it for nearly a week. On stepping on the scales just before the end of the week she exclaimed to me in terror that she had infact gained weight. After much comforting Miss Bananna decided to not give up and continue with her diet.

However yesterday morning another family member caught Miss Bananna tucking into a huge breakfast accompanied by a chocolate slimfast shake. Her reply to the obvious question was "I am on a diet so I am drinking the Slimfast" Perhaps the words meal replacement werent in big enough letters on each of the fourteen cans she had already consumed.

I guess the kebab and the eight bars of chocolate she later admitted to eating were also contributing factors to her weight gain. I have to say that really is my kind of diet!!!

There are many things I have discovered about my husband since he finished being a long distance lorry driver.

1. Shopping bills increase by 40 per cent.

2. He really does not know how to use the washing machine.

3. He is more obsessed with EBay than me!

4. Men do not always want sex!!! (apologies to any family members reading)

5. Despite trying he no longer has an excuse for not putting the rubbish out.

6. He makes more mess than the kids.

7. He talks more than my grandmother

8. He has not given up smoking !!!!

9. He is obsessed with Lesbians (again apologies to family)

10. He no longer has an excuse for not going to the dentist or doctor!!

I think he has also found out a few things about me in all fairness, For example No I am not willing to get up at 5 am to make his sandwiches, I cannot mastic conservatory roofs or fix kettles and I do not spend all my time talking to men online. And after finally meeting the milkman and the window cleaner he is willing to accept that I am not having an affair with them.

Damn I couldnt claim myself as the best housewife/handywoman in the world because I couldnt find the same kettle at the shops - I ended up buying a brand new super duper kettle that does everything except drink the coffee for you. Lucky I bought it really as I was able to hastily claim it as hubbys birthday present!! Yes ok - I kind of didnt remember till the day. (If he hadnt been keeping me so busy with his lists perhaps I would have remembered) I got him a card as well though :(

Now without causing offence to any men - Why is it they cant finish the jobs they start? Not only is my bedroom half yellow - half lilac because my hubby coulnt be bothered to finish painting it, but my laminate flooring also remains unfinished in the lounge and I am not going to even start on the garden!!! And now he has started to knock through the wall between the double garages. I have no idea what the point to this is and how it will improve our life - Only that is will remain unfinished until I pay someone to sort it out!

I spent four hours online last night trying to get a reasonable price for our car insurance, it seems to get higher every year. I actually wonder what percentage of our wages actually gets spent on insurance, car insurance, house insurance, contents insurance, health insurance, life insurance - We even have insurance on the CAT!!!! Is it me or is the whole insurance thing a bit mad?

The mother in law just phoned me, She has the children today (hurray peace and quiet!!!!) She wanted to know why it is my two year old son when offered a full roast dinner turned it down and asked for chicken tikka!! No comment.

I conclude that children always tell the truth - Well at least they state the obvious that you dont want them too. This morning is not a good morning for me. I struggled to drag myself out of bed and get the kids down the school. On arrival my friends child states loudly to a mum parking diagonally on yellow lines in a space her car obviously doesnt fit " Thats a really stupid place to park" Well what do you say to that?

In the playground my daughter Joanna doesnt fail to tell an obnoxious old man bringing his grandchild to school (who coughs and spits on the playground) that he should cover his mouth when he coughs and later to my horror also tells him that he shouldnt pick his nose as its rude. Again not alot I can say - she is right. Amazing how the conversation quickly gets turned to other irrelevant subjects. I am sooo hoping she doesnt ever tell my mother in law what Mammy really thinks of her or ever happen to mention to Daddy that the cleaning only gets done in a mad rush 20 minutes before he gets home.

The lists of things to do since hubby is now home every night gets bigger every day. It is not good when he calls me up remembering things that I should be doing. I mean I am not sure that sealing the conservatory roof with a mastic gun actually falls under normal housewife duties. Or that it is realistic for me to be pulling the kettle that broke last night to bits to see if there are any short circuits or loose wires. What do you think? Is it just his feeble attempt to ensure that I know he is the boss and the one who wears the trousers? Or should I get the screwdrivers out?

Right I am off for a coffee - But first I am off down to Argos to buy exactly the same kettle and claim myself as a genius kettle fixer. Cant let him get the better of me!!!!

MY head is going to explode!! One day - Just one day since my husband has been home (He usually works away) and he is throwing demands around already. I havent stopped today just trying to complete a seemingly endless list that he left me. I once heard that a tidy house is only possible if the computers broken, well its wrong you just have to have a husband like mine! I will have to learn to salute him soon!!

I have decided to go to a diet class - Yes I know "after her last post?" I hear you say. I am embarking upon Rosemary Conleys diet and fitness class. I have to say since watching Little Britain I think I will always be reminded of the diet class sketches. "See this cream bun, if you cut in half, it has half the calories and if it has half the calories you can eat twice as much!!!!!!" I will let you know how the dreaded weigh in goes and I will try not to swear at the scales!

I have an essay to be in on Wednesday, The idea of being a mature student is that you are more grown up, want to do the work and actually put some effort in. Unfortunately I am still 16 in my head so I will be going in and asking for an extension on the extension I already got before christmas. In my defence I do have two wild young ones who dont give me a moments peace ( I know its not a good enough excuse) I hope the lecturer is in a good mood.

Ooooo I won 25 credits on BE the other day the first time ever - I was sooooo chuffed (lol I know .... sad life I lead) Has anyone won 50 or 100 credits? Are they a myth?

Its Friday - Finally. Getting used to getting up to get the kids to school again has been a nightmare. I am not good in the mornings - Agrivate me and you will defintately come off the worst.

I am trying to find a diet that will keep my attention for more than 5 minutes. I dont want to count points, sins or carbs - I have no idea what a GI or south beach diet is and yes believe it or not I hated the Atkins diet. I havent got time to spend standing in the supermarket isles working out what is and isnt in certain foods and I cant afford to live off ready meals (although I would probably like it) Not keeping biscuits in house isnt an option as I have children... Mums you understand right? I dont want to detox, cleanse or stick patches on my arm. So what do I do - Well I am going to go with Exercise and simply 1500 calories a day. I have decided its straight forward enough - we are always looking for strange and weird ways to lose weight when really all we have to do is eat healthily and exercise, Its not meant to be easy and that concludes that. You will probably hear more on the subject. I really HATE dieting.

Argued with the hubby last night as his company forgot to pay him his holiday pay - I mean how can you forget to pay someone??? Anyway to cut a long story short he left his truck in North Wales this morning having quit his job and is on the way home - Hurray - I got him to see sense. (he does have another job to go to before you ask) They had been promising to get him home every night but out of the three nights he had been back in work he hadn't been home at all.

My sister is getting snow out in Washington - How jealous am I?? Nothing but rain and winds here.

A big thankyou to Rhea, Paul, Debbie and Lulu for letting me link to them - Their links are just on the right.

Are there loads of slimming programmes on at the moment or is it me- I mean I know its the time of the year for it but that's ridiculous. I just watched some programme on celebrity slimming that said Christina Aguilera was FAT?????? I mean if shes fat then I must be like the side of a house - actually I must be the house!!!

Everyone in the house has a cold and of course Gary is suffering more than anyone else, Whilst I have to get on with the cleaning etc he is the one wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa. Are all men the same? Do they really suffer more than women? He managed to keep his new years resolution of giving up smoking for all of 6 hours. I am amazed he lasted that long. He was in such a bad mood with me and the kids that I told him to either go out or go and have a cigarette before I killed him.

The decorations are gone and I am trying desperately to restore the house to normal, everytime I put something away, the kids pull out another three things. :( It always amazes me how bare the house looks when the tree has gone.

I have started looking into breeding my maine coon cat this year, Expensive though -£350 for the services of a stud cat, but it will be worth it if she has lots of kittens - I am hoping Gary will let me keep one of the kittens though. I am also hoping we will be able to go to somemore shows this year, We have only entered Korona in one and she won an excellent 2 which I was really chuffed about.

I have also started looking into suppliers to buy stuff from to sell on Ebay, It always amazes me where sellers find the stuff to sell on there constantly. I would love to be able to do this and get some constant money coming in so if anyone has some tips let me know.

As always I am so unorganised - I know that Joanna goes back to school on Wednesday but I have lost the note that tells me when Ethan goes back so its panic time. I cant find anyones telephone number to ask and have visions of getting him dressed and turning up with him to school and finding it deserted (mental picture of the tumbleweed blowing past)

Perhaps I should go and iron Joannas uniform - Putting it off for nearly three weeks is probably enough.

A new year

2005 already - I am sure every year goes faster. I hope you enjoyed the celebrations, personally I was in bed early with my seasonal cold only to be woken by a neighbours midnight firework display. 2 hours later (after comforting a terrified dazed 2 year old) I got back to sleep.

When do the decorations come down? If anyone knows please tell me - Isnt it supposed to be bad luck if you take them down before a certain date? Personally I now cant wait to see the back of them, I am looking forward to getting back into routine, everyone going back to work and school so I can get some decent cleaning done.

My news years resoulutions I hear you ask - I have many - ok so the obvious - lose weight (ps 1st January doesnt count because its New Years day and you can eat what you like lol) but apart from that I have small realistic targets. Laminate the floor in the dining room, finish decorating my bedroom, fix the doorbell, read more with the kids, and make sure the family has a holiday this year.

A prayer before I go for all the people affetced by the earthquake and Tsunami. Its just to awful to put into words. So many lives lost.

We had a brilliant christmas - To my horror the kids were up at 5.30am, so I was tired all day. The kids seemed to like everything that Santa brought for them :) I got some nice perfume from Gary and a pair of slippers and a new handbag and some chocolates. Of my Mum and Dad I got a new pair of speakers for my pc which are really brill and I got some smellies as well. I got a lovely replica of Arwen's (Lord of the rings) necklace from my sister Eloise and a Lotr calender of my other sister Emily. From Natalie in Us I got a brill Tshirt. Thanks Natalie - I love it. Even the mother in law got it right for me this year lol - She got us vouchers so we could get some more flooring for our dining room - Which I was chuffed about. She really liked the Bonsai tree I ended up getting her - Phew.

So what are your New years resolutions? Did you keep many from last year? This year I am hoping to lose weight, do more work on the house, sort out more bills, make more money and generally use my time more wisely - So the word for next year is Proactive. Hopefully it should work out better as my hubby has taken a job which means he will be home every night, We will have more of a normal life which I am really looking forward to. Oh and I am going to Take Posh the cat to more shows this year and hopefully breed her as well. Oh and join another gym closer to home. Phew I really have my work cut out. lol

Hope you all had a good Christmas celebration. I am going to try and add a picture for you now.

The kids and my sisters Emily and Eloise 

Its Christmas Eve

OMG where has the time gone? I cant believe its Christmas eve, the kids are super wound up and we have been watching christmas films all day - Which has been nice. After a frantic day of cleaning all day yesterday I think we are all set. The oven is on ready to cook the turkey :) All the presents are wrapped and we have a busy night ahead sorting them all out.

I was at Tescos at 6.20am on Wednesday morning and to my despair it was still busy. I managed to get everything we needed and only managed to spend a whopping £150. I am looking forward to My parents and sisters visting on Boxing day and Garys family visiting on Monday. So we do not need to step out of the house for days, which I am soooo looking forward to.

I got Gary to buy me some slippers and a new bag for xmas and I know he has got me something else but I dont know what. I got him a Shaver and a dvd and a cd. The kids both have bikes amoungst so amny other things. I really go over the top at xmas - I love spoiling them as does my mother.

So I am off now to sort the turkey - Have a very happy christmas all. x x x x

well its been ages since I have blogged, so here especially for Jilly is another entry lol. Things have been so very hectic here, It has taken me ages just to realise that December wont slow down for me to catch up on my christmas shopping. But I think I am finally there - Including the ever elusive gift for the mother in law. I got her a Bonsai tree, I think she will like it. I have bought alot less for the kids this year, I have tried to stay away from Ebay - My addiction.

Things have been so hectic in school with the kids, something on every day, carol signing in various places, the christmas service, cinema trips, the christmas fayre - And that just with Joanna. They seem to lead such a hectic life at only 4 and 2 years old. They have had more christmas cards than me :( Joanna came home with 35 cards, I dont think I even know that many people.

We had a night out last night with my friends from college, we had a three course christmas dinner, It was a lovely evening which was really nice. It was a relaxed atmosphere and even though I didnt drink I had a great time.

The kids are off school now and Gary is off work at the moment too, He has helped me get organised which is good but I get far less time online unfortunately, He thinks me and the pc spend too much time together. I am hoping he will work a few days next week for me to spend some time at my mums with the kids. It seems like ages since I spent any time with my sisters.

Got my turkey this morning - We were at town at 10am for opening and it was still stupidly busy there, I wonder why everyone leaves it till the last minute to get the shopping in - I mean we all know we gotta get the presents right???

Well if I dont get a chance to blog again before christmas have a brilliant time.

Another week starts, Husband and kids all left the house in a bad mood this morning and I couldnt wait for some peace, some teacher shouted me at the school for not shutting a door correctly??????? She didnt like it when I had a go back at her though - She made a hasty exit lol. Ethan came home with his first birthday party invitation this week - He was so proud to get invited, Its a proper party too - I never bothered organising any before Joanna started school (apart from a family tea) they cost so much - You have to wonder if its worth spending £80 on a two year olds party.

I have spent the last week stressing about Christmas - I usually have most of the childrens done by now but not this year, I am working hard on selling stuff on ebay to get some pressies. And what to get for the mother in law - Is it possible to get it right???????

No college last week and I really missed it - Nothing to think about and therefore I have no deep ponderings for you this week. Wednesday though and I am sure I will be given plenty to think of.

I am off on my weekend away this weekend - I am really looking forward to some time with my hubby (when hes not sulking that is) Hoping to do some shopping, See Bridget Jones - The edge of reason and have a nice meal and a few drinks. I plan to spoil myself lol.

Well I am off to visit some blogs now - Let me know you stopped by and I will pay you a visit as well. Hugs. And Welcome Home Jilly if you are reading, Missed you hun.

Bonfire night went well, the stadium we went to was packed, there were thousands there. I have to say though despite being good fireworks they were nowhere near as good as the ones I saw on 4th July in Seattle (when I went over this year to be at my sisters wedding)

My anniversary is approaching quickly (20 November) We will have been married 5 years and together 12 years. It would have been easy to give up on it many times, but thats to easy. I really do feel now that we have a really good strong marriage. We are going away for a weekend together (no kids - hurray lol) Only an hour away to Bristol, but I am really looking forward. I am hoping to get some christmas shopping done at Cribbs Causeway shopping centre.

Thankyou all for your comments on my last entry - It would certainly seem that most people have strong beliefs on God, The afterlife and the supernatrual, However I have only ever met one person that says he has no belief what-so-ever - I find that fascinating.

It seems like ages since I posted last, It has been a hectic week. Childrens parties and other such things are taking up so much of my time as well as planning for christmas - A friend told me she had finished her shopping consequently sending me into a panic.

I had college yesterday. We were discussing Humanisim and what they believe in. They believe there is no God, no supernatrual and no after life - we therefore have to make the most of this life. I am not sure I agree totally, different cultures throughout the ages, all over the world,have all had one thing in common - They all have a God. I am not a religious person but I would like to believe there is something out there and yes I do believe in the supernatrual and afterlife. What about you?
Counselling is a deep thought provolking subject - I wouldnt normally have gone for it but I find it really interesting.

Tomorrow night we celebrate Guy fawkes and I am really looking forward to a night out with the children, I cant wait to see their faces as they see the fireworks go off in the sky. A local hotel has arranged a big event with a band and some of the stars of Pop idol Not sure who though having never watched it.

Have a great Bonfire night if you celebrate it.