I am trying to keep busy at the moment. I have even taken up ironing!!!!!!

Death throws up lots of questions that I dont want to think about for too long so I am trying not to dwell on them.

I have had the hubby around for the last month or so which has been nice, even so it will be nicer to see him go back to work next week. The last few weeks really have focused on family so there has not really been any news.

Dentist trips, doctors appointments and food shopping are about as exciting as it gets at the moment. I am just trying my best to focus on my holiday to Dubai to November, I need to start saving.

January flew by and I havent even had a chance to pull the pictures off my camera yet.

Ethan hit seven at the beginning of February and for the next month he can boast that he is only one year younger than Joanna.

A shock to us all on Friday my Grandmother passed away very suddenly. This is one of my first experiences of grief and the first grandparent I have lost. The funeral next week means that Naty will travel home from America and that Emily will travel back from London. I will see relatives I havent seen in years. I am not taking the kids to the funeral, Joanna thinks about these things so much its already keeping her up at night and I dont want her dwelling on it anymore. I am dreading the funeral so much, I think we are all keeping busy thinking about practical things. May my dear Nan rest in peace.

I just spent the last ten minutes flicking back through my posts in January to see my past new years resolutions. I don't know what to say - I am still fat so I guess they don't mean much. Still gonna try and eat healthy though even if it is only for a few weeks.

My lovely hubby bought me lots of lovely gifts for Christmas, A digital camera, some chocolates, a CD, GHD hair straighteners and a 5* holiday to Dubai. It is our tenth wedding anniversary in November and we always said we would have a honeymoon as we didn't have one when we married. He has booked a beautiful hotel, and I am really looking forward. It is a long time to wait and I do feel guilty about not taking the kids but it is somewhere I have always wanted to go. So November cant come quick enough for me.

Happy New year all, Hope your new years resolutions don't make you too miserable. Will post a few Christmas pics in a few days.

Merry Christmas - May you all have a peaceful and restful break.

I could start my first post in nearly six months by telling you how the last six months have been. I could dwell on the fact all our perfect business plans fell apart when a someone we believed to be a friend wrecked everything overnight. I could tell you about the weeks that followed, about how we had to spend all our savings to get by and how we had to start all over again. I could tell you how my grandparents have appeared to age within weeks and how this after many problems this resulted in my Nan falling and breaking her leg, and that she is now in hospital and looking at spending Christmas in a home.

The last six months has also been good. Every challenge we have overcome, the kids are happy and we have got Christmas sorted (despite thinking we wouldnt have 5p)

Thank you to all that have emailed me, sorry if I have not replied. I seem to get online less and less these days simply to 'surf' It always seems to do banking or shopping or some other routine mundane task. I will never the less try to blog more although it wont be every day like Jilly promises.

Cost of new jumpers and cardigan's with school emblem on - £52.00

Cost of latest lunchboxes and pencil cases - £18.00

Cost of 2 pairs of Clark's school shoes that will probably be thrown aside in a week - £64.00

Cost of children going back to school next Thursday - Priceless!

Last Sunday we went to Oakwood theme park. It was a treat for the kids as they havent seen much of their Dad lately. I remember going years ago and it was a nice place, unfortunately time has taken its toll and the place has not been maintained or upgraded. The kids seemed to enjoy though.

After double checking their height the kids decided to go on a waterfall ride. Most family and friends have been told the story already but this turned out to be the scariest moment of my life as I watched Ethan come down a 50ft water slide on a sledge with no seat belt and letting go half way down. I cannot describe my fear. The crowd gasped. He couldn't get a grip on the handle and the speed at which he was traveling forced him to lie down flat. He held on as best he could, skidded across the water at the bottom and got off the ride to applause, he had a huge grin on his face. Gary says I am overprotective and that they checked his height. And yes there was the occasional child on the slide around the same age.

I got these pics from the website. I had to sit down for a while afterward. Ethan though thought it was hilarious and wanted to go on again.

If I don't post today I will have skipped a whole month without blogging. There are reasons .... honest.

Firstly I have a new laptop - Yey. Its for work (not so good) It has Vista - I don't like it - it sucks. There are so many things that don't work properly on it. Anyway I am using firefox and my blog link is in bookmarks which I hardly use because I use the quick links on the bar and OMG I just realized how boring I sound.

Secondly - I am lazy! I do twitter though!

SO I am officially working again - I do all the invoicing, accounting and wages as well as anything else that comes my way on paper for three haulage firms (one of which is our own). I don't have an office (yet - it doesn't have a door - long story) so its all from home which is handy but with the kids on summer holiday they think I have abandoned them when I am constantly sitting at the kitchen table typing. I like it but its beginning to feel like real work - I guess I thought working from home would be different (i.e. you would get to take breaks whenever etc .... instead you just end up putting more hours in because you don't physically leave work)

I have taken kids to the cinema a few times ... Wall-E best kids film ever, absolutely loved it, nearly made me cry - and I am a hard bitch to make cry!!

I discovered Primark last week and bought loads of clothes for the kids - I mean seriously I must have been hiding under a rock to miss this shop.

Apart from this my life is an endless discussion about tachographs and various other truck components, Our new truck is doing ok but it could be doing better .... we are working towards improvement though.

So we are up and running, We picked up the new truck this week. It is on the road and working. It has cost us an awful lot. I guess the phrase 'shit or bust' covers it though really.

It has meant alot of stress lately, alot of frayed tempers and serious talks.

Between now and christmas we will be lucky to eat anything other than beans. That said I saw a giant turkey leg in Asda for £1.28. I thought 'that would make some nice sandwiches for not many pennies' but once it was cooked and I went to pull some of the meat off. OMG it was awful - giant turkey legs come with giant tendons and crap. DONT EVER buy giant turkey legs, they really suck. There is a reason why you dont often see giant turkey legs on the shelf. I am off turkey for the forseeable future.

And I just want to say a massive thank you too Jilly (please note the sarcastic undertones) for introducing me to Twitter - as if I dont have enough internet obsessions!!

Business has gone to plan this week - which means I have a hubby with a severe case of stroppiness, Not good when you already have two kids to deal with. My head is ready to explode and I have had a headache most of the week. Fingers crossed, prayers and cosmic wishes that next week goes a bit better, or we may just have a slightly huge problem.

Was thinking of changing the blog template - what do you think does it need a change?

Note to self - When there is nothing sweet to eat in the house dont eat lots of coffee sweetners in one go because they are so sweet they will nearly make you sick.

Yes I know I am a weirdo and no, I do not need help unless it comes in chocolate form. Mmmmm chocolate.

So hubby has just bought a new truck officially skinting us for the forseeable future. Its means the long term future is good but to the kids all it means is no weekly McDonalds and no holiday in Spain this year. I suggested camping for a few days, I thought it would be exciting. The boy liked the idea but both the hubby and Joanna looked at me as if I had just set fire to their feet. No bathroom, no bed, no TV, no playstation and sleeping outside - what was I thinking???? Time will tell if I can talk them around but I am not holding my breath.

Sports day has just been. I always expect Ethan to do well as he follows his Dad, However Joanna always dreads Sports day and I have got used to the "I am ill and cant go to school" speech on the morning. However this time she proved all of that wrong and dazzled on the day, Getting a first and two third places. It made her beam uncontrollably for the rest of the day and all of the following weekend, she puts her success down to her new super duper trainers.

Half term came and went and so did the wart. Yey no more insults, well about the wart anyway.

Right where do I get a tent and what do I do with it ?

Oh Joy ... Half term is here again. And I have to invent 101 interesting things to do with children without leaving the house - why cant I leave the house? Because I have a huge wart on the side of my nose which I have just had treated. Hubby is calling me a witch and other people no longer look into my eyes when talking to me.... I am just waiting for someone to start uttering ' 'Moleeee moleee moleee' ... oh wait my sister already did that.

Went to see the new Indiana Jones film which has of course resulted in me rewatching all the others ... not that I get obsessed with these things!!!!!

Oh and I had my interview for secondry History teaching this week. It was only for a reserve place as all the places were full but I passed the interview and will either start this September or next September, either way I have a place. So its Mrs Rees to you now!!!

I woke up this morning in a particularly good mood which after yesterday (nuff said) was definately a bonus, But there is always someone who's got to come along and steal your sunshine!

Firstly there was old man - I was walking with the kids into school and an old man was walking towards us. I moved the kids to one side of the pavement smiled cheerfully and apologised (I have no idea why .. I have just as much right to be there. Apologising for nothing is an awful habit of mine) "It's OK" he says in his most sarcastic voice "I will leave the pavement and walk on the road" Astonished I replied "Fine I would much rather see you on the road than my kids" He blanked me.

Then there was the driver behind me at the lights who was frantically beeping at me because I wouldn't move forward into the "keep clear" box. He would have gained a whole two metres if I had and since the lights were on red I fail to see the advantage of that, especially since afterwards I drove at a painstakingly slow twenty miles an hour whilst he followed me for the next three miles. Next time Ford Focus man leave the house earlier and you wont be in such a rush!!!!

After that there was the kid from across the road (the one who stole my daughters nintendo DS to have his parents return it after being threatened with the police, the one who broke my sons new toys that he saved for) He came knocking on the door at half past six for the kids to go out to play, Now I am not being funny but going out to play at half past six on a school night when your six and eight is just not on. So I told him politely no (the kids were just about to get into the bath) and he shrugs his shoulders at me and says "don't care anyways" Charming.

That along with two unexpected bills this morning, the cat who jumped on the car, missed and left some lovely scratch marks all down the side of it and the fact that the hubby is really pushing his luck, is just not keeping me feeling on top of the world.

So when a salesman rang earlier (the same salesman that has been ringing three times a day for the last week. Isnt who calls me a wonderful website lol) and tried to sell me life insurance and wouldnt take no for an answer I really put him in his place. And I well and truly ruined his day when he turned around and said "So you dont want to save money then?" I wouldn't imagine they will ever call again, especially since afterwards I rang their head office and made my feelings more than clear on their company.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day and if anyone tries to ruin it ..... Look out!

We have become a proper family, Our kids dont want to know us anymore!!! Ethan hides in a room upstairs playing the playstation and only appears at meal times (He even asked if he could take the playstation to his grandmothers this weekend) And Joanna vanishes onto the computer, She asked me this morning the question I had been dreading for some time... "Why can't I have a Facebook account" The fact that she asked "Why can't I" instead of "Can I" suggested she already knew the answer. "Your 8 years old girl.... You have more hope of climbing Mount Snowdon"





I went out at the weekend for my first girlie night out in over a year. It was as ever hilarious.

The pretty dance floor amused me for ages - That said most things did at that point.

It was all very blue - Hence the name ice bar. If you are a friend on facebook you can find the rest of the drunken piccies there.

So its Joanna's party on Thursday, It was her birthday last month but gimmie a break - I am not the most organised person in the world. There will be cake - Yey cake :)

The half term holidays..... in pictures.

Yey its Easter - All I have to say is Bring on the chocolate. :)

Not much has been happening here lately, Things have been quiet and I have been plodding along. I am trying to plan lots of activities over Easter for the kids to keep them occupied. We are taking a trip to Alton Towers at the end of the month which should be fun, Joanna will also be 8 at the end of the month.

I nearly died this morning when Ethan asked his best friends Dad why he wasnt in love with his best friends Mum. They are really good friends now, that didnt stop them looking massively embarressed at being asked the question by a 6 year old. Ethan, however was content to keep asking the details.

Tomorrow night Gary and I are off out to watch the rugby, Hoping Wales get the grand slam.

Ah crap - I blew it. (See post below.) I have a chance to redeem myself but have now lost the momentum and couldnt give a toss, this is helped by the three glasses of malibu I have just drunk. Everything happens for a reason........... everything happens for a reason ......... I am sure it does. But it may take me a while to understand what it is. I lack direction, one minute I crave intellectual stimulation, the next I just want to be a mother and a wife.

But everything happens for a reason and I will find out what it is eventually ..... eventually I will be seen as than more than a mother and a wife by my family, I dont say this to make them feel bad, only to let them know that I am here and I will not let life pass me by.

One day my name will enter conversations again and I will not just be confined to the school run as my only daily outting. One day I will make some money myself and will not therefore have to justify buying myself a new pair of shoes to anyone! One day my opinion will count again.

Everything happens for a reason....And I will find out what the reason is if I patiently wait.