Monday, January 31, 2005

Question - Change the template or keep it the same. Should I go brighter? Or more of the same style. What do you think?

Sunday, January 30, 2005

A care bear tried to kill me yesterday. Yes thats right - those soft cuddly things with the tattoo on their tummy. Its amazing how much they hurt when they are launched at you at 100mph by your daughter, son and husband (yes thats right husband)
Of course after that I declared war and threw a full scale teddy tantrum literally. The upstairs of my house has not yet recovered, I should have really cleaned them up afterward but couldnt be bothered, Got up in the middle of the night and nearly fell down the stairs on a cuddly singing dog. Curse the person who decided to add annoying music to soft toys. Why is it only grandparents who buy toys that make noise?

We all followed the teddy incident by making some cakes, But unfortunately husband misread teaspoon and put tablespoons of water in the butter icing - You can imagine the mess as of course the children insisted we still put it on the cakes and eat them afterwards.

I will let him off because this morning I saw him more embarressed than I have in years. On dropping our children off at their grandmothers for the day and driving back home, husband commented on a young lady with long tanned legs and blonde hair (you can imagine the comment) On closer inspection the young lady turned out to be someone we had babysat for when we were sixteen, she had been eight at the time. So we both now offically feel old and husband feels horrified that he made such a comment - Although it was nice to watch him squirm.

Friday, January 28, 2005

If today had been Friday 13th I really would have stayed in bed. This week has tried my patience to the maximum. A culmination of small things has led to me eat my entire body weight in chocolate (and believe me when I say thats alot of chocolate)

I have smashed my car, Joanna has been ill, Argued with hubby, realised I am going to skint forever and my house is like a tip despite my best efforts.

Ethan now has his own accident book in school as he injures himself so often. Pain is obviously for the weak.

I left a red sock in white load of washing and now all my knickers are pink - Did I mention I hate pink.

I bought a new book shelf last weekend that was so badly made that it was impossible to put it together. They refused me a refund until told them I would try and put it
together in the shop there and then to show how crap it was. I got a refund - That is the last time I buy flat pack furniture.

I have ruined my diet to the extent of gaining 4lbs and have broken every new years resolution I made.

I also had my first nasty comment on my blog this week. Apparently I am raising a sexist male and an oppressed woman. You ever noticed that these idiots never have the courage to leave their addy or link? This was one of the things that did make me smile ironically. Did I mention that my daughter wants to be the worlds first formula 1 driver? Who am I to tell her she cant?

On top of all this I have the most enormous spot on my nose and smashed two milk bottles this morning.

I heard that this week was the most depressing week of the year - No comment. I think I need some happy pills - or more chocolate!!! And Vodka!!!

Thursday, January 27, 2005

It has been a tough couple of days. A friend of mine from college had a heartattack on Monday and drove his car into some parked cars. He died almost instantly. As there were only 5 on my course we know each other well. I had alot of respect for this man - He was wise and had a truely interesting mind. He loved a lively debate.

Another friend said to me "puts things in perspective doesnt it?" this woman has lost her mum and found out her husband is cheating on her in the last few months - I wonder how much more perspective she needs.

In college today the subject was the soul - appropriate or inappropriate - I am not sure. How do we define soul, what is it? Food for thought.

Monday, January 24, 2005

The topic .... Which are worse, little boys or little girls? Having one of both it is my view that the later is the hardest work. Here are my reasons why.

1. Boys dont need to change their clothes five times a day to look fashionable.

2. Boys dont generally steal your lipstick.

3. Boys dont ask random women in the street where they got their skirt. (and yes my daughter is not even five yet and she believes that people cant take their eyes off her because she is wearing furry yeti boots and a poncho)

4. Boys dont argue with classmates over who has the longest hair and then pout for half an hour after measuring it and discovering that theirs is shorter.

5. Boys dont bitch, scram, and grass up siblings as much.

On the other hand.....

1. Girls dont bite their mums till they bleed and then laugh hysterically.

2. Girls dont get jealous when Dad gives mum a kiss and try and beat Dad up.

3. Girls dont drag the cat around by the tail and laugh at her when she frantically scrams the floor.

4. Girls dont have the appetite of a small horse.

5. Girls wouldnt even think of dipping their toothbrush in the toilet.

What do you think?

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Ok so say you had a family member who had decided to lose a few pounds (and although I am on a diet, before you ask no the following entry is not about me!) We will, for arguements sake call this family member Miss Bananna because she would kill me if I named her.

Having never been on any kind of diet before Miss Bananna decided after a christmas binge it was time to shed that extra weight. So you have heard of Slimfast right? Miss Bananna went out and bought a whole weeks supply hopeful in her quest, and continued to drink it for nearly a week. On stepping on the scales just before the end of the week she exclaimed to me in terror that she had infact gained weight. After much comforting Miss Bananna decided to not give up and continue with her diet.

However yesterday morning another family member caught Miss Bananna tucking into a huge breakfast accompanied by a chocolate slimfast shake. Her reply to the obvious question was "I am on a diet so I am drinking the Slimfast" Perhaps the words meal replacement werent in big enough letters on each of the fourteen cans she had already consumed.

I guess the kebab and the eight bars of chocolate she later admitted to eating were also contributing factors to her weight gain. I have to say that really is my kind of diet!!!

Monday, January 17, 2005

There are many things I have discovered about my husband since he finished being a long distance lorry driver.

1. Shopping bills increase by 40 per cent.

2. He really does not know how to use the washing machine.

3. He is more obsessed with EBay than me!

4. Men do not always want sex!!! (apologies to any family members reading)

5. Despite trying he no longer has an excuse for not putting the rubbish out.

6. He makes more mess than the kids.

7. He talks more than my grandmother

8. He has not given up smoking !!!!

9. He is obsessed with Lesbians (again apologies to family)

10. He no longer has an excuse for not going to the dentist or doctor!!

I think he has also found out a few things about me in all fairness, For example No I am not willing to get up at 5 am to make his sandwiches, I cannot mastic conservatory roofs or fix kettles and I do not spend all my time talking to men online. And after finally meeting the milkman and the window cleaner he is willing to accept that I am not having an affair with them.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Damn I couldnt claim myself as the best housewife/handywoman in the world because I couldnt find the same kettle at the shops - I ended up buying a brand new super duper kettle that does everything except drink the coffee for you. Lucky I bought it really as I was able to hastily claim it as hubbys birthday present!! Yes ok - I kind of didnt remember till the day. (If he hadnt been keeping me so busy with his lists perhaps I would have remembered) I got him a card as well though :(

Now without causing offence to any men - Why is it they cant finish the jobs they start? Not only is my bedroom half yellow - half lilac because my hubby coulnt be bothered to finish painting it, but my laminate flooring also remains unfinished in the lounge and I am not going to even start on the garden!!! And now he has started to knock through the wall between the double garages. I have no idea what the point to this is and how it will improve our life - Only that is will remain unfinished until I pay someone to sort it out!

I spent four hours online last night trying to get a reasonable price for our car insurance, it seems to get higher every year. I actually wonder what percentage of our wages actually gets spent on insurance, car insurance, house insurance, contents insurance, health insurance, life insurance - We even have insurance on the CAT!!!! Is it me or is the whole insurance thing a bit mad?

The mother in law just phoned me, She has the children today (hurray peace and quiet!!!!) She wanted to know why it is my two year old son when offered a full roast dinner turned it down and asked for chicken tikka!! No comment.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I conclude that children always tell the truth - Well at least they state the obvious that you dont want them too. This morning is not a good morning for me. I struggled to drag myself out of bed and get the kids down the school. On arrival my friends child states loudly to a mum parking diagonally on yellow lines in a space her car obviously doesnt fit " Thats a really stupid place to park" Well what do you say to that?

In the playground my daughter Joanna doesnt fail to tell an obnoxious old man bringing his grandchild to school (who coughs and spits on the playground) that he should cover his mouth when he coughs and later to my horror also tells him that he shouldnt pick his nose as its rude. Again not alot I can say - she is right. Amazing how the conversation quickly gets turned to other irrelevant subjects. I am sooo hoping she doesnt ever tell my mother in law what Mammy really thinks of her or ever happen to mention to Daddy that the cleaning only gets done in a mad rush 20 minutes before he gets home.

The lists of things to do since hubby is now home every night gets bigger every day. It is not good when he calls me up remembering things that I should be doing. I mean I am not sure that sealing the conservatory roof with a mastic gun actually falls under normal housewife duties. Or that it is realistic for me to be pulling the kettle that broke last night to bits to see if there are any short circuits or loose wires. What do you think? Is it just his feeble attempt to ensure that I know he is the boss and the one who wears the trousers? Or should I get the screwdrivers out?

Right I am off for a coffee - But first I am off down to Argos to buy exactly the same kettle and claim myself as a genius kettle fixer. Cant let him get the better of me!!!!

Monday, January 10, 2005

MY head is going to explode!! One day - Just one day since my husband has been home (He usually works away) and he is throwing demands around already. I havent stopped today just trying to complete a seemingly endless list that he left me. I once heard that a tidy house is only possible if the computers broken, well its wrong you just have to have a husband like mine! I will have to learn to salute him soon!!

I have decided to go to a diet class - Yes I know "after her last post?" I hear you say. I am embarking upon Rosemary Conleys diet and fitness class. I have to say since watching Little Britain I think I will always be reminded of the diet class sketches. "See this cream bun, if you cut in half, it has half the calories and if it has half the calories you can eat twice as much!!!!!!" I will let you know how the dreaded weigh in goes and I will try not to swear at the scales!

I have an essay to be in on Wednesday, The idea of being a mature student is that you are more grown up, want to do the work and actually put some effort in. Unfortunately I am still 16 in my head so I will be going in and asking for an extension on the extension I already got before christmas. In my defence I do have two wild young ones who dont give me a moments peace ( I know its not a good enough excuse) I hope the lecturer is in a good mood.

Ooooo I won 25 credits on BE the other day the first time ever - I was sooooo chuffed (lol I know .... sad life I lead) Has anyone won 50 or 100 credits? Are they a myth?

Friday, January 07, 2005

Its Friday - Finally. Getting used to getting up to get the kids to school again has been a nightmare. I am not good in the mornings - Agrivate me and you will defintately come off the worst.

I am trying to find a diet that will keep my attention for more than 5 minutes. I dont want to count points, sins or carbs - I have no idea what a GI or south beach diet is and yes believe it or not I hated the Atkins diet. I havent got time to spend standing in the supermarket isles working out what is and isnt in certain foods and I cant afford to live off ready meals (although I would probably like it) Not keeping biscuits in house isnt an option as I have children... Mums you understand right? I dont want to detox, cleanse or stick patches on my arm. So what do I do - Well I am going to go with Exercise and simply 1500 calories a day. I have decided its straight forward enough - we are always looking for strange and weird ways to lose weight when really all we have to do is eat healthily and exercise, Its not meant to be easy and that concludes that. You will probably hear more on the subject. I really HATE dieting.

Argued with the hubby last night as his company forgot to pay him his holiday pay - I mean how can you forget to pay someone??? Anyway to cut a long story short he left his truck in North Wales this morning having quit his job and is on the way home - Hurray - I got him to see sense. (he does have another job to go to before you ask) They had been promising to get him home every night but out of the three nights he had been back in work he hadn't been home at all.

My sister is getting snow out in Washington - How jealous am I?? Nothing but rain and winds here.

A big thankyou to Rhea, Paul, Debbie and Lulu for letting me link to them - Their links are just on the right.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Are there loads of slimming programmes on at the moment or is it me- I mean I know its the time of the year for it but that's ridiculous. I just watched some programme on celebrity slimming that said Christina Aguilera was FAT?????? I mean if shes fat then I must be like the side of a house - actually I must be the house!!!

Monday, January 03, 2005

Everyone in the house has a cold and of course Gary is suffering more than anyone else, Whilst I have to get on with the cleaning etc he is the one wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa. Are all men the same? Do they really suffer more than women? He managed to keep his new years resolution of giving up smoking for all of 6 hours. I am amazed he lasted that long. He was in such a bad mood with me and the kids that I told him to either go out or go and have a cigarette before I killed him.

The decorations are gone and I am trying desperately to restore the house to normal, everytime I put something away, the kids pull out another three things. :( It always amazes me how bare the house looks when the tree has gone.

I have started looking into breeding my maine coon cat this year, Expensive though -£350 for the services of a stud cat, but it will be worth it if she has lots of kittens - I am hoping Gary will let me keep one of the kittens though. I am also hoping we will be able to go to somemore shows this year, We have only entered Korona in one and she won an excellent 2 which I was really chuffed about.

I have also started looking into suppliers to buy stuff from to sell on Ebay, It always amazes me where sellers find the stuff to sell on there constantly. I would love to be able to do this and get some constant money coming in so if anyone has some tips let me know.

As always I am so unorganised - I know that Joanna goes back to school on Wednesday but I have lost the note that tells me when Ethan goes back so its panic time. I cant find anyones telephone number to ask and have visions of getting him dressed and turning up with him to school and finding it deserted (mental picture of the tumbleweed blowing past)

Perhaps I should go and iron Joannas uniform - Putting it off for nearly three weeks is probably enough.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

A new year

2005 already - I am sure every year goes faster. I hope you enjoyed the celebrations, personally I was in bed early with my seasonal cold only to be woken by a neighbours midnight firework display. 2 hours later (after comforting a terrified dazed 2 year old) I got back to sleep.

When do the decorations come down? If anyone knows please tell me - Isnt it supposed to be bad luck if you take them down before a certain date? Personally I now cant wait to see the back of them, I am looking forward to getting back into routine, everyone going back to work and school so I can get some decent cleaning done.

My news years resoulutions I hear you ask - I have many - ok so the obvious - lose weight (ps 1st January doesnt count because its New Years day and you can eat what you like lol) but apart from that I have small realistic targets. Laminate the floor in the dining room, finish decorating my bedroom, fix the doorbell, read more with the kids, and make sure the family has a holiday this year.

A prayer before I go for all the people affetced by the earthquake and Tsunami. Its just to awful to put into words. So many lives lost.