Saturday, February 26, 2005

I would love to write you all a long and interesting entry right now but unfortunately I am having my marriage vows tested this week. The "obey" rule of my written contract is being inspected so I have to make sure everything is up to scratch.

My inspector (In the shape of my husband who fell in work this week and has torn ligaments in his ankle and is therefore unable to walk for the foreseeable future) is very demanding - I am pushing myself to the limit and was sadly in bed at 9.30 last night after he went off duty (aka as asleep)

This morning I have been "obeying" since about 7am and only now am getting a cup of tea. The inspection also means I have to go in front of a panel of high inspectors (Mother and father in law) where I will partake in "lunch" to discuss my current role, and computer knowledge (Setting up MIL's new pc)

The inspection will continue until further notice (It all depends whether or not he has to have a cast on in which case I am in big trouble) or until I crack and do a runner.

Please keep me in your thoughts, I have to go now - Inspector is calling.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Ok weatherman - You and me had an understanding - or so I thought. You forecast snow from last Sunday and I was happy to accept this. Did we get snow on Sunday - NO. You have also promised on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Today - Have we had any yet? No. So whats going on then? I promised my children snow - are you trying to make me look like a liar?

I have no more patience - Do your job properly or I will have to take my complaint to your boss! I demand you rectify this problem - get out there and start blowing those clouds over here! I mean blue skies and sun are fine as long as its not -2 degrees.

Ps London is not the only place in the UK. If it is snowing in London that doesnt mean that the rest of the country is getting "snowed in"

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

New Template - Looks alot different too. I wanted something a bit simpler - The other was getting so complicated. Thanks to my sis Natalie on help with the html code.

My life as it is at the moment?

Kids - Both full of cold but back in school :)

Husband - Boring and foul tempered having just given up smoking and gained half a stone in a week!

The cat - On heat and calling - Doesnt she realise it cost £350 to get her a shag - Shut up animal! Its not gonna happen right now!!!!

The Weather - Not snowing and why the hell not?

The diet - Put on 3 and a half pounds. My reaction was a big bar of galaxy hazlenut.

Me - Cold, tired, skint but happy :)

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Yesterday I was reading an article I forget where, It basically said that to diet successfully you had to feel good about yourself - Ah bugger - SO this is obviously what I am doing wrong.

Now it may sound stupid but dont you diet because you feel like shite anyway? I mean you dont diet because you look great in size 18 jeans right?

You dont diet because after eating a multi pack of snickers you feel on top of the world (If you felt good about yourself you wouldn't be eating the damn things)

I feel brilliant when I am in a nightclub and all the men stare at the skinny blonde cow dancing away wearing nothing but a belt and a bra!!!

Who was the idiot that thought up this theory?? The reason for being on a diet is because you want to change yourself.

Anyway that said I had a brill birthday - Did absolutely bugger all and ate loads of chocolate and indian food - Just the way I like it :) Thankyou for all the birthday wishes.

We are forecast snow for the weekend and I am (quite sadly) getting all excited. I WANT SNOW, I WANT SNOW, I WANT SNOW. (That is until its declared a snow day and I cant get the kids to school)

Oh yeah and did I mention dieting sucks?

Friday, February 18, 2005

Happy Birthday to me

Happy Birthday to me.

Woooo Hoooo. Today I am 29 which is actually pretty damn cool because I am not quite 30 if you know what mean. So today I am celebrating still being in my twenties. I am off to drop the kids off at their grandparents and I am off for some retail therapy **big grins**

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Are all firemen sexy? Sorry I know its a stereotype but cor blimey yesterday ... two doors down the smoke alarm started going off and the appropriate people were called. Two engines of rather yummy men turn up. What can I say, after hastily dressing the kids (incase a rapid exit was called for) I dashed upstairs to swap my night dress for something a little better.

Kids are a great starting point for conversations...Have you noticed? Ethan boy immediately wanted to see the fire engine and the firemen were only too happy to help letting both kids jump up into the engine for a look around. So there I was chatting away when I noticed I was still wearing my fluffy lilac slippers .... Oh no the shame!!

After about an hour it was concluded that the smoke alarm was simply faulty. Ethan and Joanna had fun in the fire engine and I enjoyed looking at the scenery ;.) And no I am not going to comment on hoses.

This half term we have visited one of those soft indoor play areas, visited both sets of grandparents, visited the hospital, garage and many other places my kids dont normally go. I have spent a fortune on them and yet what will be the first thing they say when they go back to school next week? I went in a fire engine.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

There is very little my children can say that will now embarrass me! Their 17 year old Aunty Emmy on the other hand is a different story. Joanna had an appointment at the opticians in the hospital this afternoon so I dragged aunty Emmy along for the ride as well as Ethan boy.

5 minutes after arrival Ethan boy decides he needs to go to the bathroom. Handy that there was one just by the reception area (so I bullied Aunty Emmy into taking boy) Not handy that the ventilation on the door meant that all could hear every sound. The conversation was as follows.

Aunty Emmy : Ok pull your pants down.
Ethan boy: *giggle* I have a stinky
Aunty Emmy: OMG that stinks
............ oh no
............ What are you doing?
............ Stay still - dont move
............ How did it get there?
............ Its everywhere..
............ Wait .. stop
............ dont do that
............ Just dont move
Ethan boy: *giggles*

Silence ...............

On Aunty Emmys exit from the bathroom she is holding a bundled up jacket covered in -Well I guess you all know right?

The whole reception area is staring. To make things worse - A doctor passing by comments on Ethans cheeky smile and then picks up the bundled jacket that Aunty Emmy drops when she she realises that everyone heard their conversation. The smell immediately gives away what the doctor has on his hands. Aunty Emmy is bright red and swears that she will never have children.

Joanna on the other hand skips into the optician and reads off the letters on the chart happily, when the eye doctor puts those funny glasses on her (the ones that hide one eye) she looks at the chart a minute a little puzzled and then comments how she would be able to read it easier if she didnt have the glasses on and one eye covered - Well I guess thats common sense to a 4 year old.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy valentines Posted by Hello

Reasons why after 13 years I still love my hubby

1. He has beautiful blue eyes and has hobbit style wavy hair

2. He always makes me laugh.

3. He is really naive (not always cute but I am feeling romantic today)

4. He will watch chick flicks and Lord of the rings with me.

5. He loves chocolate almost as much as me.

6. He is a good cook.

7. He tells me at the end of every phone call that he loves me.

8. He understands when I spend hours online as long as I dont bother him with the details.

9. He still puts up with me after 13 years.

10. He also hates holidays like valentines day - And like me thinks that cards are totally pointless.

That said have a really romantic valentines day all.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

After dragging the husband kicking and screaming to the doctors on Friday, He has been given nicotine patches and resolved to give up smoking There are many reasons why chosing this weekend to give up smoking hasnt been the best decision.

He has been working straight for the last two weeks and doesnt know when he will have his next day off.

After deciding to keep the car he had to repair the brakes on it this weekend (It now has a couple of extra dents in it) I could even hear him shouting "F***ing stupid b***ard car" from the house.

It snowed whilst he was was out there.

Three of his tools broke whilst he was trying to fix it.

It got dark

The children are off school for a week meaning they have more energy to agrivate Dad.

We ran out of coffee (My fault - He will not let me forget it either)

Someone decided to paintball his lorry overnight.

His favourite chinese was closed for new years.

I have been shouted at for everything from not washing the dishes properly to looking at him when I shouldnt. On the bright side this is his second cigarette free day. He has smoked for the last eighteen years so I guess there are many mood swings to come. He has tried many times before - fingers crossed that this is the time. In the meantime the only thing I resolve to do this week is stay out of his way.
Jilly tagged me so here goes..

Random Ten Albums From My Collection:

1. Phil Collins - I cant dance
2. The Scissor Sisters debut
3. Keane - Hopes and Fears
4. Girls aloud - What will the neighbours say
5. Robbie Williams - Greatest hits
6. Madonna - Music
7. Maroon 5 - Songs about Jane
8. U2 - Zooropa
9. Britney spears - My prerogative
10. Ministry of Sound - The Album 2005

What is the total amount of music files on your computer? 124

The last CD you bought is Keane - Hopes and fears

What is the song you last listened to before this message? Gwen stephani - What are you waiting for.

Five songs that you often listen to or that mean alot to you:
1. U2 Zooropa - Make me think of my first holiday Gary and I went on.
2. Elton John - Sacrifice - When I had one of my first serious kisses.
3. Puff Daddy - I'l be missing you - Reminds me of when Garys gran died :(
4. Belissima - I think thats what its called. Reminds me of my wild teenage days.
5. Phil collins - In the air tonight - Brilliant base - always cheers me up when I am down.

Who are you gonna pass this stick to (5 people)?


Friday, February 11, 2005

I think I have kicked my coke addiction

Ok now that really sounds worse than it is. Firstly let me apologise for my really bad mood this week. Let me explain ..... Just over a week ago I went to the doctors as I have not been sleeping well at all. After asking various questions he asked me how many cups of coffee I drink a day. I was always been proud of the fact that I dont drink coffee and therefore lead a caffine free life.

Now heres the part where I feel stupid - It never occured to me that the 2 litres of Coca Cola I have been drinking daily had caffine in it (Well at least not enough to keep you staring at the ceiling all night) I think I should dye my hair blonde. The doctor was amazed I was getting any sleep at all drinking that much coke every day and said I could expect it to take up to a month to get off the "coke" altogether.

After a week of bad tempers and headaches (and rants as demonstrated in my last post) I think I am back to normal and coke free. I now have a new addiction - Caffine free tea. I have taken endless jokes at my expense from family and friends. And, well what can I say ..... "Silly me"

To improve my mood I won £20 on a scratch card this morning, Gary got a bonus in his pay and we are going to repair the car having found the parts really cheap. I am looking forward to a caffine free weekend and a nice long lie in :)

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Watch out - Its rant time again.

Why is it that it always has to rain when I take the kids to and from school and then clear up straight afterwards.

Why is it that whilst I am totally skint and my friend who can afford two brand new cars and two holidays this year, expects me to take his kid to and from school every day (out of my way without offering me petrol money) so that he can work and then has a go at me when I refuse to do it anymore. (If someone would take my kids to school then I could work and not be skint!!!)??

Why is it that yesterday my little one decided to shut the car door with my arm in it and nearly broke my arm - I now have a brilliant blue bruised arm and a nice big cut? I feel sorry for me

Why is it that nutters come up to me in the supermarket (Whilst I am minding my own business) and start speaking Russian to me?

Why is it always my car that breaks down?

Why is it that my cat bites visitors ankles?

Why is it that my willpower has gone awol again?

Why is it that I will be 29 in a week which is almost 30 and wow where did the last 15 years go?

Why is it that I havent achieved anything in my life yet?

Why is it that when I take a step forward at the moment I end up taking two steps back?

Why is it that when I pick up the kids from school later on and take one look at their smiles everything will be ok?

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Good News. I have recovered my willpower - It had fallen down the back of the sofa and we have now been reunited. Whilst I was down there I also found my motivation, an odd sock and a few coins totalling £1.27. To my joy I lost half a pound this week, and the class leader was most impressed, I stayed and took part in the exercise class. I must be the youngest there by 20 years (and I am nearly 29) so it can get a little scarey as you can imagine.

My baby boy was three yesterday. He wore his Thomas the Tank "I am three" badge with pride flashing it at every old lady he saw and wearing his most cheeky smile - He did well from it even gaining some sweets from the checkout lady at Asda. We had some lovely chocolate birthday cake (willpower had just gone for a bath whilst I ate some)

It looks like my car is ready to retire, It failed its MOT this week. Having spent countless money on it during the last year we have decided its time to buy a new one. I dread the whole experience as I know it will be all my husband will talk about for weeks. For me a car is a way to take the kids to school - Whether or not it has cupholders has never been (and I doubt will ever be) an issue for me. I have no idea why anyone needs heated seats, electric mirrors or windscreen wipers on the headlights. All I know is (without trying to sound stupid and stereotypical) blue cars are nice ;.)

Saturday, February 05, 2005

My willpower has been stolen. If anyone knows who took it please could they let me know. The reward is all the chocolate that I have just bought. My willpower was last seen yesterday just after eating a pot of healthy noodles. Since then I have been subjected to a chinese, a burger king, an entire chocolate orange, three bowls of cereal and two baked potatos with tuna and mayo. Not only have I lost my willpower but I have also lost any potential weight loss this week.

I am thinking of doing a reconstruction of all events leading up to the point when my willpower was stolen as it has been suggested this may help in its recovery. However I really feel the whole thing may be too upsetting for me.

If you have seen or found my willpower please get in touch with me asap. I need it back before Tuesday when I go back to diet class. Thankyou.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

My Daddy's gay!!!!!!

In the school yard this morning, My daughter was discussing hair length with her friends. I have heard this discussion many times before but this time I nearly died of embarresment. One of the girls commented on how her Daddy had short hair and what does my darling daughter announce proudly to all that would listen?


My four year old daughter has decided that all men with long hair are gay. To prolong the uncomfortable situation even more, my three year old son decided to prance around singing joyfully "gay gay gay gay gay" I suddenly had a vision of the rest of Joanna's class joining in singing "gay gay gay gay gay" and forming a conga line in a perfect Ally Mcbeal moment (which coincidently is one of husbands favourite programmes)

I felt I had to comment on the situation and said "It would explain his devestation when Steps and S Club split up but I dont think so sweetie"

Husband released this statement "We are totally comfortable with ones sexuality and there are no plans to shorten hair length in the foreseeable future"